The Pole Story

What Does it Mean to Teach?

2012-02-01T23:08:00.000-08:00

Teach: To impart knowledge or skill

Instruct: To furnish with knowledge

It’s been a while since I’ve written something. And quite a bit has happened. Aside from being named Editor-in-Chief of Vertical Art and Fitness magazine (shameless plug to get your subscription HERE), I have also started teaching pole. This has opened up a whole other side of pole dancing for me. It is one thing to be a student, and to dedicate yourself to dance. It is an entirely different thing to teach it. Becoming a teacher, in my opinion, is an extension of your learning curve – in any subject. You never stop being a student, even when you teach. At the same time, when you take on the responsibility of guiding others in a practice, you must lead by example. This doesn’t mean you need to be flawless, but it does mean that you need to walk the walk. For example, I can tell my students how to get into their bodies and how to access their emotions in their dance, and I can tell them how to be more sensual, but if I can’t embody those qualities in my movement, then I can’t really guide them to do the same.

There is a tremendous amount of energy that goes into teaching. You are pouring your essence, your enthusiasm, your wisdom and your knowledge into others. You are offering your students support, guidance, encouragement and inspiration. And you are keeping the energy levels up and positive in the room, while making sure everyone is safe and everyone is learning something. You really can’t show up to class with anything else on your plate, or your students will feel it.

I love it.

For me, teaching is about being of service. It’s about nurturing and cultivating my students and helping them to grow in places they did not think possible. But it’s also about respect. In order to teach your students, you have to respect them. You don’t have to like them, and you don’t have to be friends with them, but you do have to show them respect. I remember when I first started learning to pole dance I viewed my teachers not just as instructors, but as mentors. I believed in them and in what they were teaching me, and I had the utmost respect for their insight and wisdom. Partly this was because they inspired me and partly it was because they acknowledged that whatever journey I was on was my own, and they knew when to get out of the way. Today, I try to inspire that same feeling in my students - not through flattery and empty cheering, or authority and credentials, but through sincere acknowledgement, careful observation, and kindness.

As a student, one of the biggest mistakes I saw teachers make was letting their egos get in the way. If you want to teach, you cannot have an ego about it. Your students will eventually see through it, and they will tire of it. It is obvious when your students’ successes mean nothing more to you than a reflection of your own genius, or even worse, dollars in your wallet. Naturally, everyone is susceptible to this kind of a thing – we are human after all – and we like appreciation. But teachers who impart knowledge and skill as a one-way flow of information are doing their students and the material a huge disservice. Learning is a co-creative process. People learn differently and in order to teach properly, you have to be able to understand your students’ learning styles and adjust accordingly. This is true for pole dance too. Your students may have blocks or fears in completely different areas. Being able to identify those areas and help your students move past them requires you to be as aware of what your student is doing as they are of what you are teaching. In psychology we learn that what you see in someone else is always filtered through your own lens, which is shaped by your own experiences. It is impossible to make an observation about another human without taking into account your own issues. This is especially important to remember when you are a teacher because you are being asked to guide another person on their journey. How you guide them will depend heavily on your own level of self-awareness and humility.

My Marine Wives Class at Camp Pendleton

Of course, all of this is easier said than done. But the joy must come not just from your success at imparting a skill, but at your student’s happiness at mastering it.

In celebration of my new teaching position at Polistic Dance Studio in Los Angeles, Polistic is offering fans of The Pole Story and Bad Kitty Exoticwear a special discount: Bring your friend for free to an Intro to Pole class. Share the link to this blog on Facebook then message me for the Promo Code!

www.polistic.com

The Pole Story is showcased on KTLA with Bad Kitty Exoticwear!

2011-12-14T18:18:00.000-08:00

I had a blast dressing up in a Sexy Santa costume from J. Valentine, along with the Bad Kitty crew Tuesday morning for KTLA news! Crystal Fambrini showcased a number of sexy fun products, including The Pole Story for her style section. Check out the pic and click here for the clip!

Pole Story Party

2011-11-14T16:29:00.000-08:00

Ever wondered how to explain why pole dancing is empowering to other people? Ever heard of The Pole Story book? Want to know what it's about? Watch!

Pole Story Helps to Battle Breast Cancer

2011-10-11T23:23:00.000-07:00

Breast cancer is not something we generally worry about if we are women under the age of 35. And yet it exists, in somewhat alarming numbers. The issues faced by such women can be different than those faced by women who are older and suffering from the same disease. That’s why organizations like Young Survival Coalition are essential to the raising the morale of women battling breast cancer. YSC was started 13 years ago by three women who were all diagnosed with breast cancer under the age of 35. They saw the need for better information, research and resources for young women facing this disease and they decided to do something about it. Some of the goals of Young Survival Coalition include advocating for more studies about young women and breast cancer, educating young women about the importance of breast self-awareness and knowledge and serving as a community of support for young women with breast cancer.

While my decision to choose YSC as the beneficiary of my book launch party was connected in part to October being breast cancer awareness month, there were also personal reasons behind this decision. My aunt is currently battling breast cancer for the second time after suffering a very painful family tragedy. While she is not under 35, she still faces the difficulties that all women battling breast cancer do: fatigue, sickness, emotional and physical pain and profound changes in her body and appearance. My aunt is an extremely beautiful woman, inside and out. She has the warmest, most loving spirit. She constantly sings. When I was a child, she would clasp both hands around my cheeks, look deep in my eyes and ask me how I was doing while showering me with kisses. Come to think of it, she still does that. She has beautiful blonde hair, round, blue eyes and a gorgeous face. She has always paid attention to how she looks and carries herself – but that is normal for most French women. I adore her. So it’s difficult to know that she suffers because I love her, and because I don’t think she should ever have to suffer, particularly from something that debilitates her and dampens her spirit so. But I also know that she is not the only one to suffer in this way. And so if I can do something to help all women who are going through what she is going through, then I will feel better. Because while being diagnosed with breast cancer might be out of our control, offering resources, love and support to the women who are battling it is not.

For more information on Young Survival Coalition please go to: www.youngsurviaval.org

To purchase tickets for Claire’s Book Party Fundraiser: www.movementstudiola.com and click on the new member special, then go to events.

Goddess Star Monroe Has Some Sparkly Advice For You

2011-10-04T11:26:00.000-07:00

Have you heard of Goddess Star Monroe? NO? Well she is sure to put a smile on your face and remind you of why you love pole in her latest book, "Goddess Star Monroe's Pole Essentials". This delicious book is meant to be used as an 'essential' addition to your pole training and dancing. It has step-by-step breakdowns of tricks, along with a picture and extra tips from Star. There is room on each page for you to make your own notes as well! The book is broken down into four levels and has a number of pole resources listed in the back, as well as quotes from prominent instructors. In fact, the Introduction is written by pole superstar Zoraya Judd, who shares a very inspirational story about how she got where she is today (Hint: It sounds like magic, but it isn't!) There is even a juicy quiz that helps you to determine your Secret Pole Personality. I'm a Vixen, by the way. But that's not a secret! What makes this book a standout is that Star doesn't just focus on the technicality of pole (although she is thorough in this department), she also talks about how pole "celebrates everything about being a woman - our curves, our sensuality, our femininity, or determination and our persistence." Her love of pole and of women literally sparkles its way off the pages and makes you feel happy, motivated and beautiful. But this comes as no surprise because Star has an extensive background in wellness, physical fitness training including yoga, pilates, pole and aerial arts, massage and counseling. So if you want a little bit of inspiration on your pole journey, then pick up "Goddess Star Monroe's Pole Essentials", read and feel the love.

For more information on Star and what she has to offer, go to www.goddessstarmonroe.com

Blog Talk Radio Interviews Me!

2011-09-27T12:51:00.000-07:00

Did you MISS IT?? Don't worry, you can still listen in to my radio interview with Around the Pole!

Click on the link below!

Come Meet Claire Sterrett 09/27 by aroundthepole | Blog Talk Radio

Don't Miss "Around the Pole" blogtalk show TOMORROW

2011-09-26T13:45:00.000-07:00

I'm super excited to be on the air tomorrow with "Around The Pole" talking about The Pole Story, Mother Theresa, and Vertical Art and Fitness Magazine.

Click here for more information and tune in at noon on Tuesday September 27th at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/aroundthepole!

Parties! Interviews! Videos!

2011-09-22T18:58:00.000-07:00

Apparently this is my week to be interviewed. And I am not complaining! First there was the lovely Sheena LaShay, and now another beauty named Lorashel has posted an interview on her pole blog. Twirly Girl is how she is known in the Pole World

Click here to read the interview.

And in Equally Exciting News, I am throwing a Book Launch Fundraiser PARTY for The Pole Story October 14th at Movement Studio LA! Click here to purchase tickets. Click on the new member special then go to events.

Proceeds will go to benefit the Young Survivor Coalition -
a charity that focuses on helping women under 35 who have been diagnosed with breast cancer. I chose this charity because October is breast cancer awareness month and also because my aunt is currently battling breast cancer.

Sneak peek of one of the prizes you could win!!!

Interview with the Fabulous Sheena LaShay!

2011-09-21T11:17:00.000-07:00

So I love being interviewed. Especially about pole dancing. And it's even better when the questions I get asked really make me think. So it's no wonder that I loved "talking" with Sheena LaShay! She is smart, articulate, thoughtful, and she is passionate about the pole and female sensuality. And we see eye-to-eye on quite a bit!

Click here to read the interview and don't forget to check out the rest of her website!

U.S. Embassy Rejects Pole Dancers - Response to Pole Spin's Article

2011-09-20T21:22:00.000-07:00

I recently read in Pole Spin Magazine that several dancers were given a hard time coming to the United States to pole dance. I found the article intriguing, but I was a little disappointed in the tone and the message. In an attempt to create a dialogue about the topic (because I think it's important) I posted a comment. For whatever reason, the comment was deleted and comments were subsequently closed. At any rate I'm curious to hear what the pole community thinks about this topic. So please,

Click here to read the article.

And read my comment below...then let me know what you think.

I'm actually glad to hear that the Feds are on point with regards to human trafficking. I think it's great that they are being so cautious. Yes, people still confuse pole dancing with stripping. And it's unfortunate that these women got caught in the middle of that. But I'm not sure how I feel about having work in a gentlemen's club referred to as "sleazy and illegal'" since that's not always the case. And frankly, I found the tone of this article to be a bit disparaging towards the industry that gave birth to pole dancing: the strip club industry.

What this story points out is not that "we have a long way to go before the stripper association is dislodged from people's minds". Rather, I think it points out that we still have a huge problem with human trafficking and sex slavery. And I think that dislodging the stripper association from pole dancing will not, in the big picture, do that much to help the much bigger problem of how our culture relates to expressions of female sexuality (which in turn, contributes to problems like human trafficking and sex slavery). And, I think it's hypocritical to look down on the women who started this movement - i.e. the strippers. If we talk about this movement being empowering for women then we disown the very women who created it, then we are not practicing what we preach. It's not that I don't think there is a difference between clubs and studios, stripping and pole dancing - there is. But we don't need to make that difference apparent by putting down women who choose to dance in a different context. It has nothing to do with the movement. I've seen women who dance extremely sensually in competitions and performances. Removing the sexiness from the movement is not what will change people's minds about pole dancing. Rather, we need to educate them about the differences in the environment and the purpose of the dance when it comes to clubs and studios, and help them to get more comfortable with displays of female sensuality.

Miley Cyrus - A Pole Lotta Trouble

2011-09-15T19:02:00.000-07:00

Miley Cyrus is the latest tween-turned-teen to find herself under scrutiny for somehow tarnishing her “good girl” image by, well, growing up. Says Cyrus, “Every 18-year-old explores sexuality and experiments and tries things. For me there’s no reason to change that. You have to be true to yourself.” Cyrus isn’t just growing up - she is growing up and being honest about it. Which is a refreshing change from other child stars that have made a similar transition. Take Britney Spears for example who said in her very first interview with Rolling Stone Magazine that she wasn’t trying to be sexy. Uh-huh, sure Brit.

What’s interesting about the public perception of Cyrus is that her transition from girl to woman is met with such shock and outrage. It’s as though watching Miley Cyrus go from a blonde, innocent little girl to a sexy young woman reminds us that all of our daughters will eventually go through that same transition. And no one likes to think about his or her little girl as a sexy woman.

But why is that? And even more importantly, why, the second that a woman begins to play with, or experiment with her sexuality do we start the think of her as “bad”? While it’s true that an 18-year-old woman may no longer be a fitting role model for young girls, is that particularly surprising or wrong? And why should we shame a young woman for no longer being a role model for girls by calling her “bad” or even “controversial”? It’s as if we want to punish her for coming into womanhood.

Miley’s fan base has grown up alongside her. She is behaving like a young adult, just as they are, and being very open about it. “The ones who do look up to me as a role model…I think it’s because I’m so real. If they tell you that they haven’t tried this or haven’t experimented with that, they’re lying. And I’ll never do that because personally I can’t, because there will be some proof on the Internet.”

We don’t offer young women today any guidance on how to explore their sexuality. Instead, we tell them what to watch out for, what not to be, and what to avoid completely. But this pushes women down a deeply inauthentic and sexually disconnected path. Instead, we need to teach them how to discover what their sexuality means to them. And if sexuality is something that is primarily experienced in the body, then the best and healthiest way to explore sexuality is through the body – whether through dressing up, dance or even touch. Miley Cyrus got in a lot of trouble when she used a pole in her performance for “Party in the USA”. Ironically, pole dancing can be an excellent way for a woman to explore her sexuality. Pole dancing awakens the body and teaches women about sensuality – usually in an all-female environment. The majority of women who pole dance will say that it has increased their confidence as well as their awareness of their sense of desire in their bodies.

Women make well-informed and judicious decisions about their sexuality when they have an experience of and relationship to the feeling of desire that resides in their body, rather than just an intellectual relationship with it. If a young woman, through dance, dress-up or touch can begin to feel in her body what she likes and doesn't like, what feels good to her and what doesn't, if she can begin to relate to her sexuality, not just as being accessible to a man, but as something that is hers - to share or not share - then perhaps she will carry that out into the world, into her interactions with men and women. And if she does, than she will be better equipped to know, through her own internal direction and guidance, what she wants and doesn't want when it comes to sex. And this is a very individual decision. If we want to teach women to make healthy decisions for themselves and to be sexually empowered then we must give them permission to freely explore their desires.

Miley Cyrus is doing what every young woman does when she starts to discover her sexuality and its power: she is playing with it, experimenting, trying things on. And she is trying to stay true to herself. The majority of the media’s response to this behavior has been, “Should Miley be sexy?”

Why the hell not?

It would be so wonderful if instead of being upset and threatened by her newfound sexiness, the public could recognize the beauty that is unfolding before them, appreciate the honesty with which she is exploring her sexuality and applaud her for becoming a woman. After all, that’s exactly what we would do for a young man. Take for example Taylor Lautner, from the popular Twilight movies. At 19 years old, he is promoted as a sexy young stud and admired for his constant shirtless appearances. And yet the young women who scream for him to remove his shirt, who show their sexual desire for him, who put on thigh high boots to get his attention- the ones who ultimately put him in the spotlight by being fans - are considered “bad” somehow. They are going through the same thing as Miley. They are figuring out what they want and expressing the changes in their minds and their bodies. But the difference is the minute a woman puts her sexuality on display, everyone starts to ask where she went wrong. And when a man does it, he gets a handshake and a pat on the back. Nobody is asking whether or not Taylor Lautner should be sexy or whether or not he is a bad boy for doing so. So why is Miley Cyrus in so much trouble?

Girl Next Door: Every Girl Has a Naughty Little Secret

2011-08-20T15:56:00.000-07:00

Kelly Yvonne’s Girl Next Door: A Pole Dance Soiree is a delicious, fun and refreshing collection of pole dance vignettes performed at the King King in Hollywood every Sunday. And the message is this: Everyone has an inner vixen. Now invite her out to play! The show opens with a few “housewives” dressed in peek-a-boo tutus and corsets meeting their new neighbors. There is one housewife in particular who has not quite discovered her inner sex kitten. Another woman takes it upon herself to begin to school her in the art of sexiness. This is, of course, all done very playfully and tongue-in-cheek. And to a sexed up version of Mr. Rogers’ “Won’t You Be My Neighbor?” It’s outstanding.

There are fifteen performances and each one is a mini-story told through dance. Most of them are done on the pole and the floor with the exception of an aerial hoop show above the bar, and another performance done on aerial silks. There are two poles – one on the stage and one in the middle of the audience. The dancers use both, as well as a small runway that juts out into the audience. What ties the performances together is the idea that each of these women is taking a break from her daytime persona and revealing to the audience her sensual, sexy, secret side. The program lists each of the dancers and their “day jobs” on one side. Turn the program over and you see each of the dancers listed by the name of the song they perform to. “Il Mio Bel Foco” had a violinist and an opera singer as music. A pole dancer danced at the mercy of a cruel ringleader, bearing a whip, until she finally wins him over. “On the Couch” was a man (well, a woman dressed as a man) begging for forgiveness from his woman for being late, ultimately seducing her by the end. “Need You Tonight” was a dancer who performed for a video camera, her eyes never leaving the lens. And “Bloodstream” was done entirely behind a sheer curtain with maybe only three pole tricks. But it was easily one of the most intoxicating performances of the evening – with the exception of the finale of course. In the finale, each of the dancers took her turn dancing on a giant net above the stage, followed by a walk through the audience, a trick on a pole in the audience, a sexy little wall dance and finally, a walk or a crawl onto the stage for a final bow. And they owned it.

Girl Next Door works well as a show because the simplicity of the presentation allows the unique and very different styles of the dancers to shine through without losing a sense of continuity and without taking itself too seriously. In between the different dances we watch the reserved housewife, with the help of her neighbor, discover and unleash her sexy side until, at the very end, she gets on the pole. The show is sponsored by X-Pole, The Pole Garage, Quain Photo and Alexander’s For Hair and produced, created and directed by Kelly Yvonne. It’s in its second season and the company has 28 members.

Girls Next Door does an amazing job of blending pole artistry, athleticism and dance into a sexy, flirty, fun-filled show. The secret is out. Now go see for yourself!

www.girlnextdoorshow.com for tickets

Performances are the first Sunday of every month at The King King

Bridging the Gap Between Club and Studio: Evolve Performance Night

2011-08-01T21:40:00.000-07:00

Annemarie Davies, founder of UPA and creator of Performance Night at Evolve.

Last weekend I had the pleasure of attending Performance Night at Evolve Pole Dance Studio. Performance Night was started by Annmarie Davies, founder of United Pole Artists and it showcases both students and teachers with varying levels of expertise. There three things that set Performance night at Evolve apart from other studio recitals:

1. You are encouraged to tip the dancers with faux dollars.

2. The dances are unchoreographed.

3. There is an open bar.

I’m assuming everyone is on board with reason number three and I don’t have to go into the merits of having an open bar. Reason number one, however, might raise a few eyebrows. Isn’t that the exact opposite of the image we are trying to create in the pole dancing industry? Isn’t it demeaning to the women dancing? As it turns out, no. The dollars are a form of appreciation, along with applause and screams and both the dancers and the audience (men and women) understand this. Now you and your boyfriend might have different reasons for throwing the dollars. But at the end of the day, the attitude of the audience members is deeply respectful of both the art and the sensuality of pole dancing. Which it turns out, is exactly Annmarie’s goal in creating the venue. “I wanted to bridge the gap between stripping and pole dancing. I want the women to have the experience of performing for “money” but in a safe environment. I’m bringing a little bit of Jumbo’s into the studio”, says Davies. Jumbo’s Clown Room is a famous bikini and burlesque bar in Hollywood. It’s known for staging performance art striptease. Davies is a performer there.

Reason number two: You might think an unchoreographed dance translates into disaster. Not in the pole world. The dancers were amazing to watch. And frankly, the lack of choreography made the movement more sensual and inspired than the usual pole show. There was plenty of floor work and the dancers also had an excellent sense of musicality. There was a woman who danced while a man sang and played guitar on stage with her. Another woman, who had only been dancing a month and a half, showed off tricks that made me green with envy. There was a massage therapist who moved as though her body was made of liquid. And another student finished her performance by pulling another student out of the crowd, and including her in her last pole trick. And finally you had two beautiful performances from the magical Mina Mortezaie and Annemarie herself. My jaw was on the floor. I’ve decided that AnneMarie is going to be my newest pole teacher.

So next time Annemarie puts on a performance night, if you are in LA and you have twenty dollars, head over to Evolve and see what the buzz is about. You will NOT be disappointed.

The Lovely Mina Mortezaie

PoleSkivvies Interviews me about my new book!

2011-07-09T12:21:00.000-07:00

Click HERE to read the interview.

Why We Dance...

2011-06-20T10:50:00.000-07:00

Patriarchal societies have forced women into stereotypes roles: the understanding, virtuous, and self-sacrificing woman, or the seductive, passionate and frightening woman. Both feminine images are controlled through the body's appearance, attitudes, gestures and movements. These categories tear up a woman and rob her of her strength. She has to be very careful not to be misunderstood. To be respected and taken seriously, she tries to hide her femininity and constrict her body into an emotional corset. Split into saints and witches, women were at once put above and beneath the reality of life; either way, they were robbed of all real participation in the development and shaping of society. They were supposed to derive happiness and satisfaction from a peripheral existence, supposedly in harmony with their "natural" role, namely self-sacrifice and submission. Dancing is an opportunity for a woman to look at these facets in a light and playful way, before deciding where she wants to stand.

Dance has completed its transformation from the realm of the sacred to the aesthetic and artistic and back to a joyful, sensual, and playful instrument for self-discovery. The contents of dancing changed with each phase, always combining with people's immediate physical and spiritual needs. Indeed the language of dance flows over the socially coded body, and it uses a different logic that can be understood through sensual awareness. Leaving oneself through dancing to enter a world beyond one's control and beyond the personal level - almost flowing between inner and outer world - contributes to a new and different understanding of the tensions between the different poles of existence. By allowing the mind and the senses, the inside and outside worlds, to unite, without ever allowing either to become dominant, dancing makes it possible for people to set out on unorthodox searches for themselves, and to experience sexual and social issues in their own bodies. Dance is an art and as such it enables whoever practices it to constantly improve their skills and self-knowledge. And to know oneself is a human being's most essential duty.

--Rosina-Fawzi Al-Rawi

Witch Hunt

2011-05-28T15:13:00.000-07:00

Last week, The Daily Mail ran an article called “Disgrace of the six drinking, pole-dancing primary school teachers who published the pictures on Facebook…Outrage after parent printed pictures and posted them through neighbors’ front doors.”

Evidently the photos show six women at a bachelorette in sexy army gear, drinking, smoking, and yes, pole dancing. The teachers failed to make the photos private on Facebook. A very motivated parent found the pictures online, printed them off, and put them the neighbors’ front doors with a letter which read: “If you are as appalled as I am by these images which these tramps post freely for the world to see, how safe are our children? Answer, not very! Children might be seeing these images. What does this tell you about this school and how it is being run? These women teach my children, but not for much longer. I say remove the scum…” The article goes to describe the parents’ reactions (“shocked”) and then to name four of the six teachers.

It goes without saying that the teachers made a mistake by making the pictures available for all to see on Facebook. However, publicly shaming them for what amounts to a harmless, free play of pleasure frankly has all the makings of a modern day witch hunt. These women have a right to enjoy their lives outside of their work environment. You know what I find shocking? That in the year 2011 we still label women who enjoy their sexuality as tramps without a second thought. And that we feel comfortable publicly humiliating them and then quickly move on to worrying about the effect “these women” will have on the children. I am far more worried about what kind of an effect such blatant narrow-mindedness and venom will have on the children. There is this unspoken belief that if you are a woman who partakes in sensual, pleasure-oriented behavior in any type of public venue, then you lose your right to be treated with respect and dignity. You are a fallen woman, a tramp, scum (unless you are a celebrity of course – then you are worshipped for this same behavior). This belief exists to varying degrees in many different cultures around the world and it is at the heart of why so many people struggle with accepting expressions of female sensuality, including those found in pole dancing.

I am happy to say that it appears as though the school is standing by the teachers. While they acknowledge that having the pictures circulated through a social networking site is regrettable, they also acknowledge that the photos were taken at a private event. Additionally, the head of the school reportedly told the parents to “mind their own business”. Now that’s more like it.

The Pleasure Principle

2011-05-01T18:08:00.000-07:00

I’m sitting outside at Le Pain Quotidien on Melrose, enjoying a salad and a mimosa. It’s one of those perfect LA days – blue skies, palm trees rustling in a gentle breeze, flowers blooming everywhere. Le Pain Quotidien is one of the few places in LA that has real French bread. And because I have a French mother, I am acutely aware of what constitutes real French bread, and what amounts to a sad approximation of French bread. Tearing into and chewing a slice of pain rustique at this place immediately transports me to my grandmother’s apartment circa 1986. My brother and I were sent every morning to get the bread from the boulangerie on the corner. It was sometimes still warm from the oven, and we could barely wait to get home and sit down to a breakfast of bread and butter dipped in hot chocolate. These days I dip my bread into Earl Grey tea, but the taste and texture of the bread is still my favorite part of the ritual.

This afternoon reminds of a different vacation though. One I took with my lover two years ago. We spent hours eating bread dipped in olive oil and consuming vast quantities of white wine in the South of France. We lay on the beach, we lay in bed, and we went out to eat almost every night. There was this sense of deep pleasure and immediate connection with our surroundings. We lived with the luxurious feeling that time, for all its constraints and demands, was irrelevant. Except for the day we almost missed our train back to Paris. But that’s another story!

My relationship to time is challenging. So is everyone’s I suppose. I frequently feel rushed, I have a hard time scheduling time for myself and I’m often overcommitted. But I recognize, on days like today, that the ability to let go of time, to let the day unfold on its own, without commitments, without plans gives me tremendous pleasure. Sensations, such as the sun warming the wood of the table underneath my hand, or the smell of my perfume as the breeze blows through my hair, become heightened and I appreciate and connect with what is around me so much more. My desires, both physical and emotional, become clearer. I feel deeply relaxed.

I wonder sometimes if America’s relationship to pleasure is tragically intertwined with their relationship to time. We so often rush through our lives; we put emphasis on being productive and on accomplishing our goals. From this perspective, pleasure becomes another thing to experience, or to do rather than arising from an internal sense of peace or relaxation. Of course, there are many different ways to experience pleasure. But how I feel today reminds me of how I feel in dance class these days: unrushed, delighted, alive, aroused, playful and….happy. Wait, happy? Yes, the woman who spent three years stomping around class threatening to bite your head off and spit it out is now smiling seductively and joyfully while she dances. Don’t get me wrong – I’m still a complete tease. I’ll still fuck with you if you sit in the chair. I’ll draw you in and push you away. But I don’t want to kill you anymore. Au contraire. I want you to come play with me. Take me for a walk. Tell me what to do.

My teacher Sheila said to me this week, “You know Claire, we all know that badass thing is just a bunch of bullshit. I mean it’s hot as hell, but it’s complete bullshit. Your vulnerable moments are what really make me want to fuck you (she really does talk like that – it’s all metaphorical of course). That moment where you slipped a little bit and almost fell over? (She turns to the class) Didn’t you want to fuck her?” They did.

My own personal experience of my vulnerability while dancing is of course, quite different. It’s a bit scary at first, but I feel a great deal more pleasure when I dance from a place of relaxed happiness. Why relaxed happiness makes me feel vulnerable and scared is yet another story, but I will leave it at this: I’ve never felt like I can trust it for too long. But I care a lot less these days when I make a mistake (aka “something goes wrong”). I don’t try to “do” a trick; I just follow my body and improvise. Don’t misunderstand me though - that angry in-your-face dancing has its place too, and sometimes I need to move that way. But the amount of freedom I feel when I dance from a place of lazy, timeless pleasure, a place where I let go of expectations is like a mini-vacation to the South of France in and of itself. And frankly, so is an afternoon at Le Pain Quotidien!

You know, if I weren’t in public right now I would probably open my legs wide on this bench I’m sitting on and drop my torso and head in to a lazy seated hip circle. Oh well. Instead I will settle for an ultra slow hair pull with both my hands and a lazy, sexy, happy, head roll. A tout a l’heure mes cheries!

Poling For Charity: The Flying Vs Dance to Help End Violence Against Women

2011-03-30T13:24:00.000-07:00

So I don’t know how you spent your Saturday night, but I’m going to tell you how I spent mine, because it was positively spectacular. First, I went to see The Vagina Monologues. I know, it came out in the 90’s and where have I BEEN? But for those of you who have never seen it, it’s worth going. The Vagina Monologues is made up of a varying number of monologues read by a varying number of women. Every monologue somehow relates to the vagina, be it through sex, love, rape, menstruation, mutilation, masturbation, birth, orgasm, the variety of names for the vagina, or simply as a physical aspect of the body. A recurring theme throughout the piece is the vagina as a tool of female empowerment, and the ultimate embodiment of individuality (courtesy of Wikipedia). The play does a nice job of making you feel good about your vagina, if you have one. I do, however wish it included the more positive aspects of heterosexual relationships. While I understand that one of the goals of the play is to raise awareness about violence against women, there were parts of the play that felt like flat-out man bashing, which I don’t particularly agree with.

The Vagina Monologues is the cornerstone of the V-Day movement, whose participants stage benefit performances of the show and/or host other related events in their communities. Such events take place worldwide each year between February 1 and April 30. The performances generally benefit rape crisis centers and similar resource centers for women. This year in Santa Monica, V-Day benefitted Peace Over Violence, an LA based charity that helps women who have been physically and sexually assaulted. A portion of the proceeds also went to women and girls in Haiti who are launching a campaign to end violence in their country with the help of sponsors and activists.

Following the play, there was a lovely after party with food, drinks and…pole dancing! A group of women known as The Flying Vs performed on two freestanding poles smack dab in the middle of the after party. The Flying Vs are made up of four women: Tracy Mueller, Christina Grance, Rie Katagiri and Katy Kamen. All four women have an S Factor background, and two of the four teach pole dancing at S Factor. Rie teaches at Movement Studio LA and Katy offers private lessons in Malibu. Their first performance was a celebration of the transition from girl to woman. The dancers started off in tutus and tank tops and as the song progressed, they shed their layers of girlish clothing to reveal womanly curves and lingerie. The second performance was an erotic dance to Moulin Rouge’s “Roxanne”. The message was: I’m unapologetically sexy. Now watch me and worship. In both performances, the dancers moved slowly, deliberately and extremely sensually. While there were some beautiful pole tricks, the focus was just as much on the floor as it was on the pole. The dancers were in almost constant eye contact with one another, feeding off one another’s energy, which heightened the eroticism of the performance.

I think the presence of pole dancing, especially an incredibly sensual form of pole dancing at this particular charity event, is significant for three reasons. First, it shows the spirit of the pole dance community in a positive light. It is possible to be sensual and celebrate the beauty of the female body without denigrating or objectifying it. Second, it reinforces the idea that ending violence against women (which is the driving force behind all the V Day celebrations) does not mean erasing or hiding or restricting their sexuality. On the contrary. The end of violence against women, in a certain way, means that women can fully own and express their sexuality and its power without fear of attack, judgment or any other negative repercussions. And this is precisely what happened on Saturday night. Finally, pole dancing for a charitable cause shows that women can choose to dance, they can dance for reasons that are positive, and that the pole dance community is devoted to helping those in need. In other words, we have heart. And if you have any doubt about that, then check out Anjel Dust’s latest pole fundraiser for Japan on April 16^th and Emilee Wilson’s fundraiser, also for Japan, at The Good Hurt on April 4^th. We love to dance, but we love it even more if it’s for a good cause!

At the end of their last performance, The Flying V’s walked into their audience, who had formed a circle around them, and pulled women out onto the floor to dance with them. It was a symbolic move, one that communicated that the dance was for all women. I cannot begin to express to you the joy of looking around at a sea of women, all moving sensually on the floor, on the poles, all celebrating their bodies and their sexuality, all blissfully uninhibited and feeling safe and celebrated. It was…awesome. And it made me want to be a Flying V!

For more information on The Flying V’s go to: www.theflyingvs.com

For more information on V Day go to: www.vday.org

To get on board with Peace Over Violence check out: www.peaceoverviolence.org

The Tempest

2011-03-18T01:23:00.000-07:00

I have this thing I do when I dance. I pull people in and I push them away. I tell them to come get me with my body, invite them towards me and then I make it clear that I'm about to devour them. When I get close to the lap dance chair, I stalk whoever is sitting in it. I torture. I tease. And I love it.

A few months ago I was giving my ex a dance at home. I approached the chair from behind, where he couldn't see me, and I leaned down and pushed my head against his, hard. He complained. "EASY!" he said. But I don't know how to be easy. Easy is not really in my lexicon. Especially not when I dance. "What a pussy" I thought to myself. And I moved back towards the pole.

What's interesting is how frequently that push-pull plays out in my life, especially in my relationships. I will draw you in and then I will test you to see how much you can take. And I will get a very profound sense of satisfaction mixed with intense disappointment out of watching you fail. I want and desperately need someone who can stand in my storms and just take it. That is, perhaps, completely unreasonable. But it's the truth.

When I dance this scenario plays out again and again and again with whoever is sitting in the lap dance chair. I just recently started giving lap dances again. For a couple of years, I would approach whoever was in the chair, but never get in it, never offer any contact aside from a hand brushing against a calf, or my head nudging their knees apart. Sometimes I would offer my leash, a piece of fabric looped through the leather and metal O-ring collar I wear around my neck. But I never gave myself over to anyone.

Then, for some reason, about two months ago, I climbed into the chair. I got really close to the woman sitting in it, and I had a wordless conversation with her. I told her all about my disappointment and heartache. I told her all about how much I wanted to be desired and how open I was to being devoured and cherished. I told her how difficult and sweet I was. And I told her how much she would be rewarded for sitting through just one of my storms without walking away. And then I crawled away, glancing longingly over my shoulder, begging her to come after me. But of course, she didn't.

Vulnerability is exquisitely hard for me. I am constantly opening and inviting you in and then threatening to hunt and eat you. It's incredibly hot when this dynamic comes out in my dance. But while it sends men over the edge in dance-land, it drives them away in real life. Which is tragic. Because if they stayed put through just one of my feminine storms, they would find that underneath the tempest is a very scared, very sweet woman who wants nothing more than to melt into a strong man's arms. And that is, perhaps, completely unreasonable. But it's the truth.

Why Yes, I'm Certified to Teach Pole Dancing!

2011-02-28T23:04:00.000-08:00

I know you were all wondering what happened! Well I’m officially certified to teach levels 1 – 4 for pole dancing. Our last day was short but sweet. I perfected my caterpillar climb, got into Aisha (with Collette holding my butt up) and learned how to spot perfectly for inversions and climbs. Which, by the way, is not as obvious as you might think.

For some reason I also thought that my last day would be an excellent time to take a Chinese Splits class. And actually, it was! The class was a bit like Yoga, and we used mats and blocks to gently stretch and elongate our muscles. There was seventy-two–year-old student named Lynn who put us all to shame by performing full Chinese Splits on an armchair. Talk about inspirational!

Speaking of inspirational, Celeste Ayers (pronounced AIRS) modeled many of the advanced moves for us in teacher training the last day and WOW! Her movement is amazing to watch. She is gracious, fluid, sensual, flexible and has nearly flawless technique. Celeste was a competitor in this year’s California Pole Dance Championships. If you have not seen her dance yet, check her out here.

I was extremely pleased with the level of professionalism, the attention to detail and the amount of fun and connection I had with the other students in my Teacher Training Class. Collette offers the perfect blend of technical skill and sensuality to her teacher trainees and she breaks down the art of pole dancing into easily digestible, clear instructions. Collette also trains her teachers to have an incredibly good eye for correcting mistakes in their students’ movements. “I created this program by applying how I was trained in my academic and consulting careers to study a craft and organize information. It was tedious and meticulous, but so necessary given the huge responsibility we take on in training others.” In the future, I would love to see this training expanded into a week-long or ten-day endeavor (as would Collette!), because there is an enormous amount of material to cover. It would also be wonderful to see this program expand its floor work training and dive into the emotionality of pole dancing in greater depth. Of course, those are my biases!

I want to thank Collette, Natalie, Felicia and OC Pole Fitness for putting together a very comprehensive and positive training program that offers its trainees the flexibility to create their own curriculum while maintaining rigorous safety standards. I also want to thank my amazing co-trainees, who made the experience fun, exciting, supportive and very positive. Can’t wait to train for the upper levels!

Pole Teacher Certification - Where Should You Go? Part IV

2011-02-20T19:09:00.000-08:00

Day 3 of Training:

I mean it’s past the point of me complaining how SORE my body is. I’m presently numbing some of that soreness with a margarita.

Today I started my day by assisting Collette in an Intro to Pole Class. I had SO much fun. Collette has a very upbeat style of teaching, and she keeps the energy in the room high, which I think is good for beginners. She also takes a lot of time to explain why she is doing what she is doing. She does not take it for granted that her students will understand why they are spending class time learning floor moves. She explains to them that this will help them to learn sensuality and “swagger” as she likes to call it. I am not used to classes where the warm ups are broken down with explanations and a part of me just wanted to get lost in the flow of movement. But I have to say, it seemed to work for this class, and a lot of the students loosened up and were having fun. I was surprised at how few moves were taught from a curriculum standpoint, and yet how much material it seemed like the students were being given. And I loved, loved, loved assisting. There is nothing more satisfying to me than helping a student and watching her face light up when she gets a move. I also loved showing the students how to embrace their sensual side and enjoy their bodies. It truly made my day. I noticed too how much the language that Collette had taught me for pole moves came in helpful for finding small mistakes in the student’s movements and correcting them. I have primarily studied pole dancing in a studio that has no mirrors, which I always thought was great. But I must say, I was fascinated (and surprised) by how little the mirrors were used by the students during the floor moves portion. Partly this is because Collette had everyone facing each other in a circle. But I also think the students were more absorbed in their movement then in the image of their movement, which is lovely. On the other hand, I think the mirrors were a great tool for learning pole tricks because pole requires precise and proper body positioning in order to avoid injuries. Collette finished class with a beautiful demo that had all the students’ jaws on the floor.

After assisting, I got to “teach” my fellow pole students, which was far more challenging. Each of us took turns being the teacher and Collette came up with a number of student problems for us to tackle; everything from improper positioning to dead pets. My “students” included someone with a serious cold, another person who couldn’t deal with the sick student, a student whose pet iguana had just passed away and two students who were improperly positioned on the pole for the trick they were about to learn. I did ok. I didn’t catch everything, but I taught the trick properly. The role-playing was extremely valuable. The amount of stuff going on in a classroom at one time can be overwhelming, and it sometimes feels like you need eyes in the back of your head, a phenomenal memory bank, a ton of empathy and a long fuse. These scenarios did a great job of preparing us for what to expect in the classroom.

Last, and CERTAINLY not least in my day, I finally learned to do the Shoulder Mount! I have been practicing that move for months and months and months…improperly it turns out! No wonder I couldn’t get it. With a few small, but important adjustments (here is a hint: you will never, ever get your legs over if you are in a back bend) I was able to get my legs over my head flip up onto the pole. I am ecstatic!! Here is the best part (and it’s kind of a story): When I was little, I was terrible at gymnastics. I used to take dance and tumbling classes and in spite of my intense love of ballet and tap, at the young and tender age of five, I quit all of it because I couldn’t do a cartwheel. Everyone in the class could do one except for me, and I was devastated. My teacher came to the house to talk to me and reassured me that he could teach me a cartwheel and that it would be his priority, but I had already decided that I was a failure and would never accomplish such a feat. It’s kind of heartbreaking in retrospective. And today, while trying to figure out the shoulder mount, that old feeling came creeping back in, and I felt like the five year old who couldn’t do the cartwheel. But no one was going to let me give up – least of all Collette. She made it her personal goal to teach me that trick. And I got it. After five or six tries and some additional adjustments and a lot of encouragement from the women around me, I got it. And I have to say, whenever I overcome a challenge like that, a little piece of that five year old feels a whole lot better about herself. And that is priceless.

Last day of training tomorrow! Oh and I’m taking some sort of Chinese Splits class in the morning…if I can move.

Pole Teacher Certification- Where Should You Go? Part III

2011-02-19T23:59:00.000-08:00

Day 2 of Training:

Owie ouch ow, ow, ow, whimper. Did I say I was sore after the first day? I had NO idea what I was talking about. Because today, after covering level 3 AND 4 spins, I am truly sore. But wow do I know a lot! More than I ever have- even after three years of pole classes.

I want to take a minute to talk about my fellow trainees, because they are awesome. There are two women named Skye Tacker and Natalie Goldwin from Core Fitness Pilates in Dallas, Texas. They recently added pole to their repertoire of classes, and they are really starting to take off. They are both incredibly sweet, high energy and positive. Then there is the very strong, very wise Jennifer Van Deausen from Pegasus Pilates Plus in Solano Beach. Much like the first studio, she has added pole into her Pilates regimen. Her studio is named after the Pegasus because of the transformational qualities both pole and pilates have brought to her life. And then there is the very beautiful, very kind and very talented Celeste Ayers. She regularly competes (her performance at the CPDC this year was lovely) and she is a whiz on the spinning pole. She will be teaching at OC Pole Fitness, however she has already taught quite a bit. And she has an amazing smile. Together, the six of us (including Collette) have formed a tight knit group and there is a great deal of support and sharing going on.

(Picture from L-R: Natalie Goldwin, Skye Tacker, Celeste Ayers)

Collette started us off today with a discussion about what it takes to teach a class. She talked a lot about the amount of giving being a teacher requires and encouraged us to make sure we have the resources to replenish ourselves after teaching classes. Anyone who has ever taught knows that it requires a tremendous amount of energy and focus, and no matter how much you love the topic, it can be draining to impart your knowledge to others. She also talked about the different ways in which anxiety can manifest itself in our students, and why it’s important to see beyond the behavior to the underlying issue. And she reminded us that for new students in particular, pole dancing classes could actually feel very threatening, and you as the sensual, embodied teacher, could induce a great deal of fear in your new students. As someone with a psychology background, I greatly appreciated her taking the time to bring such things to our attention. Pole dancing can be as much of a psychological exploration as it is a physical fitness practice. The more aware teachers are of this, the better they will become at addressing and potentially helping their students through mental blocks.

We also learned floor moves today. I have to be honest, as someone who thinks there is no better way to spend her time than rolling around the floor in ecstasy (and you can take that however you want, by the way) I was a little disappointed that more time wasn’t spent on the floor. Floor work has been so grossly overlooked in so many studios and it has the potential to unlock a great deal of a woman’s innate sensuality. Collette did mention this but I wish we had spent more time playing with it. I don’t think it’s something that comes naturally to a lot of women.

On the other hand, one of the many delightful things about this Instructor Certification program is that Collette is incredibly open about the fact that we are learning from her mistakes. There is no pretention on her part, she does not presume to have it all figured out, and she openly talks about her mistakes and what she learned from them. This gives the program a very alive and malleable feeling that allows for updates and new information to easily be accepted, digested and implemented.

So you probably remember that yesterday I was talking about how one of the downsides of having teachers learning tricks in the program was that it could slow down the pace of the training? Well that was smug of me. Because guess who could NOT get a trick that everyone else could get today? ME! The Drag and Fly was my nemesis for about twenty minutes. It’s a spin, but it lands your hips in the opposite direction of the Fireman Spin. Something my hips have never really done before. And so OF COURSE, my hips were convinced that they were doing the right thing – and they had me convinced too! It took one of my lovely classmates dragging my foot around behind me and telling me where it should end up for me to get it! Tomorrow we are role playing, and teaching a trick. Guess which trick I have to teach? Like I said….stay tuned!!

Pole Teacher Certification- Where Should You Go? Part II

2011-02-18T23:07:00.000-08:00

Day 1 of Training:

I am ready and rearing to go. There is nothing I like better than learning (I’m a HUGE nerd) and I show up at OC Pole Fitness with what I hope is a beginner’s mind: empty and hungry. OC Pole Fitness has a brand new studio space in Aliso Viejo, and the first thing I notice when I walk in is a beautiful picture of Collette on the pole with her two adorable girls. All three are dressed as angels. If you spend just a few minutes talking to Collette, you will quickly understand that the angel metaphor is actually quite fitting, which makes the picture that much sweeter. She has a huge heart and her goals in teacher training, in class and in the pole industry seem to be driven by a very sincere desire to give of herself while building partnership and trust with others. For example, OC Pole Fitness is running something called The Pole New You Fitness Challenge right now. They offered five women a free 90-day program to lose one hundred pounds. This kind of gifting is the brainchild (or should I say heartchild) of Collette and reflects her devotion to spreading the joy that pole dancing can bring to women.

Now, back to the décor! The second thing I notice in the lobby/retail area is the fabulous rhinestone jewelry and leather cuffs on display. I am a huge sucker for such things and they are arranged in a way that makes the whole entry seems to sort of shimmer like a magical fairy room. Add to that the purple walls and curtains and the zebra striped furniture and instantly you are in the mood to get your sexy on. There are also a number of dance and fitness clothes for sale, and yes, some of them have rhinestones as well!

The main pole studio has a total of eight 15-foot Platinum Stages poles, all of which can be turned into spinning poles and three of which are on a stage with a one-foot rise and lights. Yes a stage. I can’t imagine anything more fun for a pole party! There are mirrors on two of the three walls and the back of the room is a row of ceiling high windows that have been covered with heavy purple curtains for privacy. However they can be opened if daylight is desired. The lighting is low and pleasing and the floors are a walnut colored hardwood. In one corner there is a large, overstuffed easy chair. It’s a lovely, nurturing space, but functional as well. In addition to the main pole room, there is a smaller room for private lessons just next door. A room for aerial yoga is still under construction, but has a similar feel to the pole room, with more natural light.

There are a total of five of us in the instructor training and most are already teachers or studio owners. Their reasons for being there are similar to mine: to learn proper terminology, to learn how to teach and because they love the sensuality of pole dancing. Collette starts us off by talking about why students come to pole dance classes, who is drawn to them and what keeps them coming back for more. She makes the point that everyone will have a different reason for coming in at first and that while we will have to adjust our teaching styles accordingly, it is important for us to stay true to why we are teaching and what our credo is. There are, after all, many different ways to teach pole. She then spends a fair amount of time on safety before leading us through a warm-up.

What I found so interesting about the training was just how much sensuality was in the movement. Because I knew the classes would be focused on pole safety and proper technique, I kind of figured that sensuality was out of the picture. But I was SO wrong. Collette manages to teach both sensuality and proper technique and she blends the two seamlessly. I was pleasantly surprised. Also pleasantly surprising was the amount of freedom offered to us in the choreography. There is no “one way” to get to where you want to go next in pole dancing, and, as Collette explained to me later, the goal of certification is not just to have an eye for good moves, but to develop an eye for variations. Longevity of curriculum after all, is an excellent way to keep your customers coming back for more.

We covered a tremendous amount of material on the first day. The certification process is designed to teach those who might not know a trick how to do it. This has both benefits and downsides. The downside of course being that each student might be on a different page when it comes to learning, and the class can get bogged down. The benefit is that there are live learning experiences happening which makes it the perfect arena to practice teaching with one another.

One of the strengths of this program is that it provides the students with a comprehensive and consistent way to approach pole tricks by using specific terminology for foot and hand placement (i.e. outside foot plant, baseball grip). This primes the mind to begin to think about where the body is in space in a very specific and consistent way, trick after trick, which makes it easier to build on tricks and makes corrections to form much easier. That is, until your arms turn to jelly.

Six hours and I don’t know how many spins later I am exhausted and ready to go home. I’m in need of a hot shower and a soft bed. I now have so much more sympathy for dancers who train competitively and practice like this 5 times a week. My head is swimming with all of the material I’ve covered – Thank God for those PFA flashcards, that’s all I have to say. Stay tuned for Day 2!

Pole Teacher Certification - Where Should You Go?

2011-02-17T22:30:00.000-08:00

Pole Dancing is a relatively new form of dance fitness, which means there are a limited amount of teacher training programs available and a large number of teachers who teach pole without any certification whatsoever - which seems insane to me. As someone who suffered a pole related shoulder injury as a student relatively early in my training (an injury that could have been prevented had proper body mechanics been taught), my inclination is to be cautious on the pole and sometimes I avoid it altogether while dancing. I've also always been a little bit of a snob about people who prefer to throw trick after trick on the pole while incorporating almost no dance style or sensuality into their movement, labeling them as gymnasts only, not dancers. To me, being precise on the pole used to mean losing some of the sensuality of the movement. With that said, I fully recognize the skill and strength it takes to properly and safely execute beautiful pole and floor moves, and I've avoided studios that don't require their teachers to have some kind of certification program in order to avoid injury. Additionally, being a good pole dancer - even a competitive dancer - does not necessarily make you a good teacher. Learning to teach any sort of movement (let alone pole) requires you to have not just a good knowledge of the material, but the skills to impart that knowledge to your students and a trained eye that can both recognize and correct mistakes in body mechanics, assist with issues like self-consciousness and lack of confidence, all while making class a fun and rewarding experience. That is no small task.

When I decided to explore teacher training programs, I had a list of things I was looking for. I wanted the program to give me the freedom to develop my own curriculum, rather than being committed to one particular studio's vision. I also wanted the program to be very detailed when it came to teaching pole tricks. That is to say, I wanted it broken down step by step and I wanted the vocabulary I was learning to be consistent with what pole studios were teaching around the world. I also wanted the program to have some "street cred" a reputation that they needed to uphold. What wasn't high on my list was a program that taught me how to be sensual and encouraged me to explore the emotionality behind my movement. This may of course seem surprising since all I ever write about is female sexuality and emotions, blah blah blah. However, I knew I already had the skills to teach that portion of the class.

After researching multiple programs over the course of several months I chose the OC Pole Fitness Instructor Certification Program. OC Pole Fitness was founded by Collette Kakuk (also the co-founder of the Pole Fitness Association) and she runs the studio with Natalie Hammons Hamilton. The PFA has been the driving force behind things like insuring that pole tricks and spins have the same terminology from studio to studio, as well as pushing for instructor certification programs that emphasize safety and body mechanics first. Their Instructor Certification Program is the only one to be endorsed by Felix Cane, two-time World Pole Champion. And while they teach a very comprehensive beginner/intermediate instructor program, they are not teaching you a specific sequence of movements to teach your students. Rather, they are giving you the the tools to build your own curriculum with confidence. All of this appealed to me tremendously. So I signed up!

Over the next few days I will be up to my eyeballs in pole (which sounds like heaven to me) AND I will be chronicling my journey through The OC Pole Instructor Certification Program in order to give my unbiased, in-depth, insider review of what's going on behind those purple curtains! So stay tuned my pole pets!

The Pole Body Part 2: Michellates

2010-12-26T17:25:00.000-08:00

About a year ago I began taking Pilates in addition to pole dance classes as a part of my fitness routine. I was initially just curious about how Pilates worked. I had heard that it did amazing things for the body and I was particularly interested in the blend of stretching and strengthening that the workout supposedly provided. Pilates is a system of exercises developed by a German man named Joseph Pilates in the early 1900s. Originally designed as a rehabilitative practice, the goal of Pilates is to achieve an equilibrium of strength and flexibility and better balance in the body when moving through life’s activities. I began doing one-hour sessions once a week with Michelle Blum, certified Pilates instructor. Michelle trains out of her home and she has a number of exciting machines that she likes to torture me with. But in a good way!

Michelle also has an insatiable curiosity about the body. Because she is compassionate and detail oriented, she is able to provide a very personalized workout for her clients. In fact, she thrives off of finding what would best serve each of her clients needs, whether it is overcoming chronic pain, healing from an injury or losing weight. Says Michelle, “While my comprehensive training in Classical Pilates is the foundation of my teaching, depending on a client’s needs I also pull from other pilates styles, my yoga certification, and background in sports and personal training. I am very much about tailoring each workout to the client’s specific needs. I’ve been told I have a very sweet and gentle way of kicking someone’s butt. “ Case in point: one of Michelle’s regular clients came to her after training for five years in Pilates with other teachers. After three months with Michelle she dropped an additional dress size and lost two inches off of her waist.

Michelle also has a background in pole dancing. When I told her that I wanted to use my Michellates workouts as a foundation for strengthening and conditioning my body to do specific pole tricks she leapt into action. She assessed my strengths and weaknesses over the course of several sessions and then incorporated a number of core strengthening and leg strengthening exercises to create a very personalized workout. She also sent me home with worksheets so I could train at home. The beauty of Michellates is that it teaches you to experience your muscles in relation to one another. As someone who has very little gymnastics background I struggle with understanding what muscles go into which pole dancing trick. Michellates has helped me tremendously with this. Says Michelle, “Pilates is very much an overall body workout and while we target specific muscle groups through certain exercises, the workout, on the whole, is a complete body workout. What someone learns through doing Pilates is how the muscles relate to one another and work together. In other words, how to use their muscles correctly and how to engage and strengthen parts of the body that aren't working at full aptitude in order to assist the parts of the body that are working at full aptitude.

Some of the benefits of Pilates include:

-Elongating muscles without building bulk.

-Slimming problem areas, i.e., Hips, buttocks and thighs.

-Increasing flexibility while building strength.

-Improving posture, coordination and circulation.

-Increasing range of motion.

-Promoting relaxation and a sense of well-being.

Since starting Michellates almost a year ago people are constantly asking me if I have lost weight. In fact, I’ve gained weight because I’ve gained muscle mass. But my body looks leaner. And I only see her once a week! But perhaps the best part of Michellates is seeing how passionate Michelle is about her work: “I love being able to teach people how to properly work with their body while at the same time giving them a great workout. I love being a part of the discoveries people make about their body. Clients will often arrive sharing a story of a discovery they made while doing an activity in their day to day life, how they were able to feel the difference and move more freely or with more ease. Seeing people awaken to the mind/body connection, witnessing their progress over time, helping them to alleviate some tension both physically and mentally and helping them to feel more energetic is a gift."

So if you are a pole dancer looking for an extra workout that will complement your pole dancing exercise, I strongly recommend looking into Michellates. Especially if you find yourself struggling with tricks and/or worried about injuries. As a New Year’s special, Michelle is offering an intro one on one session for 40.00 and a deal on packages to anyone who mentions this article.

Happy New Year Everybody!

Michellates

Email: michellates@gmail.com

Facebook: Michelle Blum http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=646637997&sk=wall

The Great Goddess

2010-12-24T16:56:00.000-08:00

From "Who Cooked the Last Supper?"

by Rosalind Miles

Around 2300 B.C., the chief priest of Sumeria composed a hymn in praise of God. This celebration of the omnipotent deity, "The Exaltation of Innana", is a song of extraordinary power and passion, and it has come down in history as the world's first known poem. But it has another claim to world attention - both the first God and this first known priest-poet were female.

For in the beginning, as humankind emerged from the darkness of prehistory, God was a woman. And what a woman! The Sumerian inhabitants of what is now Iraq worshipped her in hymns of fearless eroticism, giving thanks for her tangled locks, her "lap of honey", her rich vulva "like a boat of heaven" - as well as for the natural bounty that she "pours forth from her womb" so generously that every lettuce was to be honored as "the Lady's" pubic hair. But the Supreme being was more than a provider of carnal delights. Equally relished and revered were her warlike rages - to her first priest-poet Enheduanna she was "a dragon, destroying by fire and flood" and "filling rivers with blood".

The power and centrality of the first woman-God is one of the best-kept secrets of history. We think today of a number of goddesses, all with different names - Isis, Juno, Demeter - and have forgotten what, 5,000 years ago, every schoolgirl knew; no matter what name or guise she took, there was only one God and her name was woman.

So arose the belief that woman was divine, not human, gifted with the most sacred and significant power in the world; and so was born the worship of the Great Mother. The birth of new life out of woman's body was intricately related to the birth of new crops out of the body of the earth, and from the very first, both were interlocked in the concept of a female divinity far more complex and powerful than conventional accounts suggest.

Wedded as we are to an all-loving, all-forgiving stereotype of motherhood, it is at first sight difficult to reconcile this terrifying image of the bad mother with the good. But both "life" and "death" sides of the Goddess come together without strain in her primary aspect, which is in fact, not motherhood pure and simple, but hersexuality. As her primary sexual activity she created life; but in sex she demanded man's essence, his self, even his death. Here again the true nature of the Goddess and her activities have fallen victim to the mealy-mouthed prudery of later ages. Where referred to at all, they are coyly labeled "fertility" rituals, beliefs or totems, as if the Great Goddess selflessly performed her sexual obligations solely in order to ensure that the earth would be fruitful. It is time to set the historical record straight. The fruitfulness of crops and animals was only ever a by-product of the Goddess's own personal sexual activity. Her sex was hers, the enjoyment of it hers, and as all these early accounts of her emphasize, when she had sex, like any other sensible female, she had it for herself.

The Soul Starved Woman

2010-12-13T19:24:00.000-08:00

by Clarissa Pinkola Estes

From "Women Who Run With Wolves"

When the personal soul-life is burnt to ashes, a woman loses the vital treasure and begins to act dry-boned as Death. In her unconscious, the desire for the red shoes, (a wild joy), not only continues, it swells and floods, and eventually staggers to its feet and takes over, ferocious and famished.

To be in a state of hambre del alma, a starved soul, is to be made relentlessly hungry. Then a woman burns with a hunger for anything that will make her feel alive again. A woman who has been captured knows no better, and will take something, anything, that seems similar to the original treasure, good or not. A woman who is starved for her real soul-life may look "cleaned up and combed" on the outside , but on the inside she is filled with dozens of pleading hands and empty mouths.

In this state, she will take any food regardless of its condition or its effect, for she is trying to make up for past losses. Yet even though this is a terrible situation, the wild Self will try over and over again to save us. It whispers, whimpers, calls, drags our fleshless carcasses around in our nightdreams until we become conscious of our condition and take steps to reclaim the treasure.

We can better understand the woman who dives into excesses - the most common being drugs, alcohol and bad love - and who is driven by soul-hunger by noting the behavior of the starved and ravening animal. Like the starved soul, the wolf has been portrayed as vicious, ravenous, preying upon the innocent and the unguarded, killing to kill, never knowing when enough is enough. As you can see, the wolf has a very bad and unearned fairy-tale and real-life reputation. In actuality, wolves are dedicated social creatures. The entire pack is instinctively organized so healthy wolves kill only what is needed for survival. Only when there is trauma to an individual wolf or to the pack does this normal pattern loosen or change.

There are two instances in which a wolf kills excessively. In both, the wolf is not well. A wolf may kill indiscriminately when it is ill with rabies and distemper. A wolf may kill excessively after a period of famine. The idea that famine can alter the behavior of creatures is quite a significant metaphor for the soul-starved woman. Nine times out of ten a woman with a spiritual/psychological problem that causes her to fall into traps and be badly hurt is a woman who has been critically soul-starved in the past.

Among wolves, famine occurs when snows are high and game is impossible to reach. Deer and caribou act as snowplows; wolves follow their paths through the high snow. When the deer are stranded by high snowfalls, no plowing occurs; then the wolves are stranded too. Famine ensues. Foe wolves, the most dangerous time for famine is winter. For woman, a famine may occur at any time, and can come from anywhere, including her own culture.

For the wolf, famine usually ends in springtime when the snows begin to melt. Following a famine, the pack may throw itself into a killing frenzy. Its members won't eat most of the game they kill, and they won't cache it. They leave it. They kill much more than they could ever eat, much more than they could ever need. A similar process occurs when a woman's been captured and starved. Suddenly free to go, to do, to be, she is in danger of going on a rampage of excesses too...and feels justified about it. There is something about famine that causes judgement to be blighted.

So when the treasure of a woman's most soulful life has been burned to ashes, instead of being driven by anticipation, a woman is possessed by voraciousness. So, for instance, if a woman wasn't permitted to sculpt, she may suddenly begin to sculpt day and night, lose sleep, deprive her innocent body of nutrition, impair her health, and who knows what else. Maybe she cannot stay awake a moment longer; ah, reach for drugs...for who knows how long she will be free.

Hambre del alma is also about starvation of the soul's attributes: creativity, sensory awareness, and other instinctual gifts. If a woman is supposed to be a lady who sits with her knees kissing only each other, if she was raised to keel over in the presence of rough language, if she was never allowed anything to drink but pasteurized milk...then when she is freed, look out! Suddenly she may not be able to get enough of those sloe-gin fizzes, she may sprawl like a drunken sailor, and her language will peel paint off the walls. After famine, there is a fear one will again be captured someday. So one gets while the getting is good.

Overkill through excesses, or excessive behaviors, is acted out by women who are famished for a life that has meaning and makes sense for them. When a woman has gone without her cycles or creative needs for long periods of time, she begins a rampage of -you name it- alcohol, drugs, anger, spirituality, oppression of others, promiscuity, study., creation, control, education, orderliness, body fitness, junk food, to name a few areas of common excess. When women do this, they are compensating for the loss of regular cycles of self-expression, soul-expression, soul-satiation.

The starving woman endures famine after famine. She may plan her escape, yet believe the cost of fleeing is too high, that it will cost her too much libido, too much energy. She may be ill prepared in other ways too, such as educationally, economically, spiritually. Unfortunately, the loss of treasure and the deep memory of famine may cause us to rationalize that excesses are desirable. And it is, of course, such a relief and a pleasure to finally be able to enjoy sensation...any sensation.

A woman newly free from famine just wants to enjoy life for a change. Her dulled perceptions about the emotional, rational, physical, spiritual, and financial boundaries required for survival endanger her instead. That is the trouble with famine. If something looks like it will fill the yearning, a woman will seize it, no questions asked.

The Pole Body - Part 1

2010-11-18T16:58:00.000-08:00

For the next two weeks The Pole Story will be featuring a two-part article called “The Pole Body”. The first part will focus on Nutrition and Fitness (with guest blogger and Integrative Nutritionist Rebekah Fuller) and the second will focus on Strengthening and Fitness (with the help of expert Pilates Instructor Michelle Blum). The goal is to help dancers learn new ways to get into optimal shape, whether it be for competitions or simply for personal satisfaction. And of course, with the holidays right around the corner, it doesn’t hurt to have a little fitness advice!

I have had the pleasure of working closely with both of these women and they are not only knowledgeable, but deeply passionate about their work. They both have a pole dancing background, and Rebekah, in addition to being a nutritionist, is also a pole dance instructor. (She also came up with the title for this series!) Rebekah and Michelle are also very interested in the mind-body connection and this is reflected in their work. So if you are looking for someone to help take your pole dance training to the next level, or even if you are just interested in getting physically and psychologically healthier, consider checking out Fuller Health and Michellates. They are both offering specials to anyone who references these articles. So without further ado, let's see what Rebekah has to say!

As a Pole Dancing Instructor and Holistic Health Counselor in Nutrition, I am an advocate for eating for energy and maintaining lean, strong and healthy curves from the inside out. I became a dance instructor at S Factor prior to my studies and practice in nutrition. While I just assumed my up & down waves of energy and lack of focus at times were normal, it was not until I really learned about nutrition that I realized food changes everything.

I will say that prior to my education in nutrition I already did eat fairly healthy and was not oblivious to food and labels. I understood the concept of macronutrients: protein, carbs and fats. I felt I had a pretty decent grasp on eating well and steered clear of fried foods, sodas and candy. But my awareness and knowledge of what I was putting into my body only went so far.

I didn’t realize how much sugar I was consuming with all its disguised names. How it was and IS secretly in foods I would have never imagined it to be: Fat free milk and yogurt, tomato sauce, ketchup, on the go energy bars and even healthy cereals, just to name of few. I got sick a few times a year. I suffered from congestion, irregular digestion, waves of energy then fatigue, acne and simply did not feel that I was at my optimal health.

Then, I discovered that food is medicine and there are so many different ways to heal the human body through food and healthy lifestyle. I wanted to share with you some of the ways I keep my “Pole Body” lean, clean and strong.

Check out my Top Ten Ways to Increase Energy:

1. Reduce or eliminate caffeine.

· The ups and downs of caffeine include dehydration and blood sugar ups and downs, making mood swings more frequent.

2. Drink water.

· Most Americans are chronically dehydrated. Before you go to sugar or caffeine, have a glass of water and wait a few minutes to see what happens.

· Caution: Soft drinks are now America’s number one source of added sugar.

3. Eat dark leafy green vegetables.

· Green is associated with spring, the time of renewal and refreshing, vital energy. Greens are full of vitamins and nutrients and great for improving circulation, lifting the spirit, purifying the blood and strengthening the immune system.

· Broccoli, collards, bok choy, kale, mustard greens, broccoli rabe, arugula and dandelion greens are some of the many to choose from.

4. Use gentle sweets.

· Avoid sugar and chemicalized artificial sweeteners.

· Use gentle sweeteners like maple syrup, brown rice syrup, and stevia.

· Also eat sweet vegetables such as yams, carrots and beets.

5. Get physical activity.

· Start with simple activities, like walking or yoga—start with 10 minutes a day and increase.

6. Get more sleep and rest and relaxation.

· When you are tired or stressed, your body will crave energy.

· These cravings are often a result of being sleep-deprived, going to bed late, waking up early, for months and years on end.

7.Evaluate the amount of animal food you eat.

· Eating too much meat, dairy, chicken and eggs can lead to low energy. So can eating too little! Experiment. Respect your body’s individuality.

8. Take time for yourself.

· Find activities that restore your energy, such as a walk, a bath, a museum, a movie or whatever you enjoy, and schedule a weekly date with yourself to do these things!

9. Get in touch with your spirituality.

· We are spiritual beings in a physical world.

· Find ways to get in touch with your spiritual side, be it meditating, dancing, drawing, church, temple or being in nature.

10. Get rid of relationships that drain you.

· People can drain you of your energy. It doesn’t mean that they are bad, but it is good to notice who drains you and why.
· See if you can transform those relationships by communicating and setting boundaries, or end the relationship.

By improving eating habits, understanding your body better, and feeling confident in preparing better food for you and your loved ones you will experience an increase in overall energy and happiness in your life. If you would like to learn more about what foods are right for you, please check out the sweet offer below.

As a big thank you to Claire for featuring this healthy article in her fabulous blog, I am offering a COMPLIMENTARY CONSULTATION to anyone that mentions this article in their inquiry. To take advantage of this offer please visit my website at www.fullerhealth.net and click on the Health History link. Be one of the first 10 people to act and receive $100 off the first month of working one-on-one with me as your Holistic Health Counselor. Salud!

Rebekah Fuller
rebekah@fullerhealth.net
Health Counselor in Nutrition
www.fullerhealth.net

My Favorite Bedtime Story

2010-11-11T11:49:00.000-08:00

It's by Cosi Fabian

Eve was not the first woman created!

According to Hebraic tradition, the first woman "made by God" was - Lilith.

She was created from blood and dust, as was Adam before her, and so felt

herself to be his equal.

So originally it was "Adam and Lilith" in the Garden of Eden!

Everything was fine between them, until it was time for sex.

For then Lilith incurred the wrath of God and Adam for an act of great defiance:

she refused to lie beneath Adam in the "missionary position"

insisted upon by the patriarchs.

Lilith preferred what the historians call the "woman-superior position" -

and I call the "Isis Squat".

Lilith would not relent.

"Out, out of the Garden!" cried God.

"Out," said Adam.

And so Lilith was banished. She went to live in the caves by the Red Sea,

where she coupled with demons.

Presumably, in any position she wished.

With My Naked Eye

2010-10-23T23:02:00.000-07:00

I did a photo shoot a few weeks ago with a very talented artist by the name of Gregory Beylerian. He was interested in capturing some images of women on their poles at home and he was especially interested in capturing the emotionality and the sensuality of the dance – much more so than the tricks and technical skills. The experience was…sublime. With the exception of my classmates, I rarely dance for others. And when I dance, I let an extremely sensual, extremely erotic part of myself come out to play. This makes me feel equally powerful and vulnerable. So sharing that part of myself with a near stranger in my living room and subsequently my bedroom was initially nerve-wracking. In addition, my studio doesn’t have mirrors, so I have absolutely no idea what I look like when I move. When I told Gregory this he said, “I’ll be your mirror.” Eek.

But as it turns out, I had no trouble at all dropping into that sensual, sexual part of myself. And after the first couple of songs (and ok fine, one glass of wine) I found that I really enjoyed sharing my sensual self with the camera. In class we use a chair and the person sitting in the chair as a reference point for our dance. The chair helps us to focus our dance in a certain direction and reminds us that we are telling a story to someone else. In this case, the camera was the reference point. I teased and taunted and hid from and seduced the camera with my eyes, my hair, my hips, my back, my breasts and my ass – especially my ass. I told my story with my body. And while I was doing all of that a funny thing happened. I began to discover that I really enjoyed it. There was something exhilarating and liberating about exposing that part of myself to someone else. And rather than feeling like an object of the camera’s gaze I actually felt like the camera was the object of my gaze. That I was pushing out my sexuality, owning it and forcing it onto the viewers, whomever they might be. While certainly Gregory put me at ease with his demeanor, I uncovered a part of myself that I did not know existed. At the same time, there were these moments of discomfort where some sort of old programming about what is and isn’t appropriate for a woman to be doing with her body would pop into my head (usually when I was pushing things a little bit further – pulling off a layer or rolling around in the bed). In those moments the question “Is this bad?” would rattle around my brain for a few seconds. Literally. And then I would drop my head into a lazy circle, arch my back, circle my hips and think “Well it feels too good in my body to be bad. So F*@k it.”

At the very end of the shoot my boyfriend came home. I was leaning provocatively against the pole and Gregory was clicking away. “Hi my love!” I called out. Immediately Gregory invited him in to see what we were doing. And again, I was struck at how comfortable I was with my boyfriend watching me be photographed in lingerie. The whole experience made me realize that the erotic, sensual part of myself is not separate from the rest of me at all – it isn’t something that I can only turn on for dance class. It’s actually fully integrated into my being. It’s a part of who I am - a big part. I’m not ashamed of it. In fact, I love to share it. It may sound strange, but it almost feels as though the photo shoot took apart a dam in my stream of sensuality. Whereas before I could stop up that stream after dance class, or I maybe felt that I had to out of fear or shame of it flowing out into the world, now I don’t need to - or want to. I know better.

It goes without saying that a big part of this realization has to do with the kind and almost sacred reverence Gregory has for the female form. He makes a woman feel beautiful and safe, which allows her to unwrap her sexuality at her own pace and feel empowered in the process. He quickly understands the way in which a particular woman moves her body, and captures those movements so that her natural beauty is highlighted. He is a genius when it comes to lighting. His photos reflect an understanding of what it means to capture a moment, and then to create a work of art. But it’s more than that. He sees his subjects not just through his camera lens, but through the lens of his heart (which is, after all, the mark of a true artist). Because the technological aspects of photography are second nature to him, he is free to focus on the story that is being told by the woman in front of him. And because of who he is, you want to tell him that story.

For more information on how to schedule a shoot with Gregory Beylerian please email him at:

http://www.gregorybeylerian.com/ or call #323 385 5200

Did you hear WHO was at the California Pole Dance Championships?

2010-10-21T13:41:00.000-07:00

Ohhhh the California Pole Dance Championship was splendid! I had the immense pleasure of hanging out in Bad Kitty’ s VIP box and mingling with the dancers backstage. So much fun! The setting at The Avalon was the perfect mixture of lounge and theater and the show was sold out. A big thanks to Anjeldust for putting it all together. It was gorgeous.

I haven’t been to a showcase since The Pole Convention in DC and, once again, I was struck by the differences in each contestant’s choreography. Some dancers’ routines were more technical and elegant while others were extremely sensual and erotic. Madeline Eve’s tender and angry dance (dedicated to anyone who had lost someone) was heart wrenching to watch. She poured so much emotion into each movement. It was a delicious reminder of how pole dancing is as much about emotional expression as it is about skill. Erika Labansat playfully danced her way in and out of a coffin and Flying Laura Martin lived up to her name by finishing her dance with a dizzying inverted spin combo. My boyfriend actually leaned over to me and asked “Why do I feel like she isn’t holding on to the pole with anything?” There were fantastic performances by Felix Cane, Bad Azz, Alethea Austin, Jamilla Deville, Estee Zakar and Amber Kittle, last year’s champion.

If you had the chance to attend the Champagne Meet and Greet just before the show then you know that Felix Cane was there, signing autographs. You might have also seen all of the super sexy posters decorating the lobby. Some were of Felix Cane, some were of Stripperella (striptease heroine extraordinaire), and some were of Felix Cane as Vixxxena, Striperella’s trusty sidekick. Yes, that’s right! Felix Cane is officially a cartoon character! Named Vixxenna! If you’re not in the know (and I was not) comic book genius Stan Lee (president of Marvel Comics, invented Spiderman) and artist Anthony Lee Winn (he is responsible for every one of those drawings at the CPDC) have teamed up to create a rather sassy and scintillating graphic novel/wireless comic book called “Stripperella”. The premise? Stripper by night and super heroine… by day and night! Her superpower? Why seduction, of course! Personally I’m looking forward to seeing how this comic strip helps shape the public’s perception of female sexuality into something a little more liberated, powerful and playful. I had the chance to speak briefly with Anthony Lee Winn, and when I asked him what drew him to the Stripperella character he said, “Empowerment . It’s about empowering women through their femininity, through their sexuality.” Couldn’t have said it better myself.

Redlight

2010-09-20T22:00:00.000-07:00

A few weeks a go I watched a documentary on child sex trafficking called Redlight. The movie tells the story of several different children (mostly girls, but some boys) who have been victims of sex trafficking in Cambodia. It was incredibly difficult to sit through and I highly recommend you see it. As I listened to the horrific stories of these individuals and began to understand the scope of this problem, I felt a pit open up in my stomach. It was difficult for me to reconcile what I was doing (female empowerment through freedom of sexual expression!) with what was happening halfway around the world to these children. I became concerned that somehow, what I am advocating for could be used to justify some very ugly, very abusive behavior. In fact, many feminists have argued that the continued existence of sexual slavery is a reason why women should reign in their sexuality. Because if we show that women enjoy expressing their sexuality it will then lead to the conclusion that they must enjoy any sexual behavior that is subsequently thrust upon them, whether it was invited or not. And I suppose for some people, that train of thought seems quite logical.

The movie sheds light on the complicated issues that have allowed child sexploitation to happen on such a grand scale. One of the main points it makes is that there is a tremendous amount of money to be made in the human trafficking business. For countries like Cambodia, that in addition to having a very high poverty rate and massive amounts of psychological scarring in its population from the wars of the Khmer Rouge, also tend to view women as second-class citizens, sex trafficking is a quick way to make a lot of money. Although prostitution and trafficking are both illegal, it is incredibly difficult for the women to press charges against the brothel owners (who more often than not, kidnap them). Especially because once they have served as sex slaves, they are viewed as untouchables in their culture rather than as victims. Any charges that do make it to court are frequently thrown out because the brothel owners are able to buy their way out of a corrupt system. To give an example, there was a seven year old girl who was gang raped by four men. They cut her vagina open because it was too small for their penises. They were arrested, and when it went to court, the judge ruled in favor of the men because “the girl was young and would forget about it and the men were old and we should feel sorry for them.” Right.

In addition to the local issues that help to drive sex trafficking, the movie also makes the point that the demand side of sex trafficking is a major contributing factor to the problem. And unless that gets addressed the market will continue to thrive. According to the NGO, every year more than 250,00 sex tourists visit Asia, with 25% coming from the United States, 16% from Germany and 13% fro the UK and Australia combined. These tourists are generally seeking sex with children through the sex trade or simply targeting pre-pubescent children.

One of the things that struck me about this documentary is that it was as much about slavery as it was about sex work. The girls who work in the brothels in Cambodia are a far cry from “The Cat House” in Nevada. No one is there by choice. Everyone is physically tortured and abused and subjected to subhuman treatment. There are no “champagne nights on the pole” nor is there excitement about getting a client - on the contrary. They are slaves. In the past I have written about how a woman who chooses to do sex work because she has no other economically viable options is not really making a choice at all. In a sense, she is a slave too and her relationship to her work will reflect that. I do think it’s possible however to freely choose sex work – whether it’s stripping or even prostitution – because it’s WHAT you want to do. Nina Hartley, Carol Queene, Merri Lisa Johnson have all written on this topic. However, I think it goes without saying that it is virtually impossible for a child to make this choice. I bring it up now because it represents the polar opposite of what I saw in this documentary. And while it may seem distasteful to juxtapose these two very different perspectives on sex work, it’s important to acknowledge that both exist. Too often, people will rush to the conclusion that every woman who works in the sex industry in the United States is there because she is somehow psychologically broken. This can be as dangerous a conclusion to draw about a woman’s sexuality as the one I mentioned earlier because it assumes that a woman who is psychologically well would never want to share her sexuality outside of our very narrow socially sanctioned avenues. And that simply isn’t true.

When I think about some of the ideas and beliefs that exist in our world regarding sex - female virginity being a virtue, the Madonna/Whore dichotomy, women as second-class citizens - it doesn’t surprise me that violence against women and sexual slavery continue to thrive. And I wholly agree with the film that the demand for sex trafficking, particularly with children, has to stop. Pedophiles should not be flying to other countries to commit their crimes. Personally I cannot even begin to understand how it can be erotic to have sex with someone who you are basically raping, let alone a child.

With all of that said, there is also another shift that has to take place. We must create a space for women to express and share their sexuality without being shamed for it. The solution is not to deny our bodies and our sexuality, nor is it to keep our desire under wraps. The solution is to begin to see the value in the erotic, embodied female and to understand that eroticism, like anything else, is an art and a practice that can be taught and learned. I long for the day when the erotic female is not just an idea or an image to be admired, but a real practice that women engage in through breath, movement, reading and speaking, and of course sexual pleasure. And I think if we were able to view the women who taught and practiced such things as respectable teachers rather than whores a great deal would change not just for the women of the United States, but for women all around the world.

As I watched the movie I couldn’t help but wonder what these women’s relationships to their sexuality was like now. How do they learn about their own desire and what that feels like in their body after undergoing so much sexual trauma? Did they even want to have sex? Who did they choose to be their partners? During trauma the body will often shut down – the nervous system’s response to overwhelm – leaving the person with “frozen parts”. Accessing these frozen parts of the body can be psychologically overwhelming. At the same time, people with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) often find relief from treatments that incorporate the body and sensory awareness. In this case, a gentle form of erotic dance with the right instructor and support system could be an excellent form of therapy. In fact, I have had women who are survivors of sexual assault approach me and tell me that pole dancing has been extremely helpful way to reconnect with their sexuality – that they found it empowering. So perhaps what I am advocating (female empowerment through the freedom of sexual expression) is not so far removed from the child victims of Cambodia. As these children grow and hopefully heal from their childhood traumas, their relationship to sex and sexuality remains a question mark. One possible avenue of healing for the girls (when they become women) could be a gentle form of erotic dance to help reintroduce them to their bodies, to desire and to pleasure. And how wonderful would it be if they could engage in such a thing without reigniting the stigma of shame.

For more information on the movie go to: www.redlightthemovie.com

To find out more about what you can do to stop child sex trafficking check out the following websites:

www.somaly.org

www.redlightchildren.org

www.unicefusa.org

Women and The Gaze

2010-08-06T22:16:00.000-07:00

There is something inherently disturbing to most women about erotic dance and the women who perform it. Some of this disturbance stems from an overall discomfort with sex and sexuality, which then gets translated into judgment of the women who are more comfortable with it. Some of it, though, comes from the uneasy sense that to engage in such overtly sexual behavior is to risk being objectified. In objectification, the gaze of the audience (usually male) regards the women who are dancing as tools to be used, as a means to an end rather than an artist who is sharing her talents and gifts. The common thread among all forms of erotic dance, from temple dancing to striptease is that there is almost always a watcher, and that watcher is male. Helen Thomas describes this phenomenon in her book “The Body, Dance and Cultural Theory”:

The female is the object of the ‘male gaze’ and the viewer (male or female) is entreated to see her through the male look. The woman in film [or dance] is objectified and rendered passive by active power of the male gaze…

Feminist critics are concerned with how women can transcend this passive “to-be looked-at-ness” , as is the everyday woman. In other words, how can women resist being rendered passive by the male gaze? And can they instead, look back at the men?

This is exactly what the women in exotic dance do. They look back. There is nothing passive about the way in which exotic dancers receive their audience’s gaze. As stated in my last post, Lucinda Jarrett makes the argument that one of the things that keeps erotic dance in the grey area between the formal and informal arts is the blurry line between the performer and audience. Anita Berber, who began performing nude in 1918 in cabarets in Germany, was known for “looking back”. This is how Jarrett (author of “Stripping in Time”) describes Berber:

[She was known]… for combining her nakedness with a powerful expression of her emotional integrity. She carried the creed of her art into her private life. Her uniqueness was in the beauty of her body that dared to look back at the audience. She lashed out at members of the audience who were not watching her as she wanted to be watched.

La Goulue, a famous can-can dancer at the Moulin Rouge, “…would stare greedily at the crowds, absorbing the desire that shone in their faces, which turned pale under her insolent gaze.” These women are far from being rendered passive by the male gaze. What distinguishes them from being objectified by the male gaze is their willingness to participate with their audience and, in effect, look back at them, to challenge them. There is tremendous power in being able to own one’s body and sexuality so forcefully and confidently. This power, and the pleasure women take in displaying their sexuality is unfortunately precisely what earns them the label “slut” in American culture. We don’t like women who do that sort of thing. We either denigrate them or we pity them as victims of low self-esteem or of abuse. We assume that they take no personal pleasure in their actions. And if they do, then God help them – they need saving.

This concern about the objectification of women is connected to the stigma of the “slut”. Merri Lisa Johnson states that traditionally, women who have openly displayed their appetite for sex or their willingness to engage in sexual behavior have been judged as having loose morals and therefore being “bad”. In this context, “stripper sexuality” which is characterized by a heightened sensuality, could be considered non-normative sexual behavior, like homosexuality or bisexuality. This open sexuality often gets pigeonholed as dysfunctional, or the unfortunate result of childhood sexual trauma. The common cultural perspective on stripping or erotic dance is that it takes something away from a woman whether it is self-respect, self-esteem or freedom.

"We might argue, in contrast, that it is mainstream culture that takes something -our sexual freedom - away from us, and stripping can, in some cases, give it back. In Pat Califia’s introduction to an anthology of forbidden fantasies, a contrast is drawn between the American cultural hysteria over sexual abuse, defined as incest, pedophilia, rape and other egregious acts of sexual aggression, versus a different kind of sexual abuse, defined as sexual panic and the withholding of information about sexuality. As part of the sex radical segment of feminism, Califia, along with Amber Hollibaugh, Carol Queen, and other feminist sexual educators, redefines abuse to reveal how it is endemic to American cultural constructions of sexuality in its common prohibitions on speech, knowledge, and experimentation. From this point of view, it is possible to invert the usual hierarchy of strip clubs and mainstream American institutions of sexuality like family church and marriage. Whereas sociologists and psychologists have historically approached the stripper as an abuse victim, perpetuating her abuse by working in the sex industry, one could make an equally valid argument that nonstrippers - those who are uncomfortable with public nudity, those who confuse lack of modesty with a lack of self-respect, those who perceive explicit sexual talk as inappropriate outside the bedroom or the monogamous couple - are also abuse victims, learning these psychological and social cues within a strict sexual economy that prohibits the free play of pleasure."

This argument is similar to the one Barnaby Barratt makes in his book “Sexual Health and Erotic Freedom”, in that it suggests that sexual phobia is so endemic to our culture that we are unaware of the lenses through which we view sexuality and how they color our perceptions. Both the stigma of being objectified and the stigma of being viewed as a slut not only interfere with women’s perception of others who are able to transcend these labels, but restrict them from enjoying the full spectrum of their sensuality and connecting with their erotic power. And an understanding and connection to our erotic power, as we know, is an essential part of a healthy female psyche.

Take It Off!

2010-07-21T17:01:00.000-07:00

I’m always slightly amused by pole dancing studios that insist on stating that there is NO STRIPPING involved in their classes. As if somehow this assertion will insure that no one will confuse what they do with what strippers do. As if what distinguishes stripping and pole dance classes is the removal of clothing.

I actually strip in my dance classes. I strip down to a thong and a bra. Not in every class, and when I do strip, not every layer always comes off. But I take my clothes off. You see, I think the act of stripping off layers is important for a couple of reasons. First, it’s an art form. Getting out of your clothes gracefully while dancing a mastering the art of the tease takes tremendous talent and practice.

According to Lucinda Jarrett, stripping is actually a uniquely American art form and it was here that the art of striptease was first recognized as a craft. Back in the forties, strippers dubbed themselves “ecdysiasts” and schools for teaching the art of walking, posing and peeling sprung up everywhere. Once these parts were mastered, and the women gained sufficient confidence, they would bring their own personalities into the act, including costumes. How much one could reveal or suggest through the tease without baring it all was the name of the game . In our current culture, where baring it all has become the norm, there is something to be said for the sensual art of revealing one's self slowly and deliberately.

Secondly, there is an emotional component to stripping that is extraordinarily enticing to me. There is something so freeing about shedding your clothing, layer by layer. I love pulling at the hem of my shirt while I swing around the pole or feeling my ankles get tangled up in a miniskirt that has found it's way down my legs. I take real pleasure in revealing myself to my classmates, layer by layer. That pleasure comes from the understanding that my vulnerability and my power are inextricably mixed up in this process. In revealing myself, I make myself vulnerable. But the act of revealing myself holds my audience captive and mesmerized, which feels powerful.

In the play "The Why Factor" (sponsored by S factor studios - click here to read my review) a group of women who decide to take a pole dancing class are challenged by their teacher to "peel off the layers". The metaphor for taking off one's clothes, in this case, is to take off the layers of bandages that we put over our emotional wounds. During her monologue, Pele, who is the teacher, begins to take her own layers off:

Now we’re getting somewhere. Peel it off Verne. Peel off the layers. Maybe

then you will be able to figure out why you said yes. Maybe then you will be

able to feel something. (PELE has begun to circle the room, continuing to peel layers off her clothing. The goddess is beginning to get angry) Would that be so bad?

Would opening your legs lead to opening your heart? What if it did and

what spilled out what dirty, rank sewer water? Could you let that wash over

you if it meant ridding yourselves of it once and for all? Or do you want it to

stay inside and fester? To pus over and harden, so you can carry it around for everybody to share? Is that what all of you want? (she strips off more clothing)

Is that what you’re afraid of? Your truth?

This monologue reflects some of what I find so powerful about the process of peeling away clothing from our bodies: it’s about revealing our sexuality deliberately and slowly, about exposing our most vulnerable selves. There can be something very emotionally potent about the act of stripping. As Catherine Roach says so eloquently in her book “Stripping, Sex and Popular Culture”, stripping can become a metaphor for taking off inhibitions, such as shame, guilt, fear and ignorance. It can become a way of stripping off narrow definitions of beauty and sexiness, and of the oppression of those who enjoy sexual pleasure outside of the norm.

There is a common misperception that stripping is about exposure and overexposure. I disagree. When I remove my clothes, I am choosing to reveal parts or even all of my body to another. I am stripping away my inhibitions and shame over my body. I’m defying the demand that society makes of me to keep it under wraps, to cover it up, to restrict my appetite. I am reveling in the pleasure of offering something delicious to another. I am enjoying the tease. So the next time you are swinging around that pole or rolling around on the floor, put on an extra layer or two first, and slowly, sensually, deliberately take it off!

Did You Hear?

2010-06-21T14:41:00.000-07:00

The Pole Story has a beautiful new website! Click here to visit!

Also, if you missed my post on Mr. Josiah "Bad Azz" Grant, male pole dancer, click here.

Care for a Dance Lesson?

2010-06-10T00:52:00.000-07:00

Let’s take a moment to talk about dance, specifically erotic dance. It’s a term that people shy away from in the pole community, for a number of reasons: it links us to strip clubs, it implies that what we are doing is designed to arouse others and nothing more and it’s too sexual. But pole dancing, like most dancing, is inherently erotic.

Judith Lynne Hanna is a cultural anthropologist who focuses the majority of her work on dance. She claims that dance can provide a medium for humans to “identify themselves and to maintain or erase their boundaries.” It’s an interesting definition because it suggests that dance provides an avenue for people to both explore and express who they are and what they desire through movement. When people refer to pole dancing as being empowering for women, I believe that this is partly what they are referring to: the ability to explore, define and redefine their sexuality through movement. Sexuality after all is primarily experienced through the body and dance can be an excellent vehicle for exploring sensation in the body.

“Aphrodisiac dancing” is a broad category under which sex and dance are directly associated. According to Hanna, aphrodisiac dancing sorts out who is playing what role in the game of sexual partnering. The dancing might be illicit or it might not. It might happen within the confines of a relationship or marriage, or outside those confines. The purpose of the dancing is almost always for entertainment and camaraderie and sexual arousal is either implicit or explicit. Notice that Hanna does not directly associate aphrodisiac dance with disreputable behavior, but states that this form of dance can occur in a wide variety of settings, including disreputable ones.

According to Hanna, erotic dance is traditionally female dominated. In some cultures, women may only dance for other women, especially if they are married. Among the wealthy in cultures around the world, female sexual charm has been respected and even cultivated. In Europe, a class of women known as courtesans were allowed in the royal court and able to garner some social mobility by displaying their feminine charms and sexual prowess through dance, among other things. China has a long history of accepting concubines and dancing girls as in integral part of the ruling-class and working-class culture. During the T’ang dynasty, the dancing courtesan had become a social institution and a point of pride for the cities. In Japan, the geisha was taught the arts of dancing, singing and playing instruments.

Other countries that have a rich history of erotic dance including the Middle East and India. According to Lucinda Jarrett, the belly dance is the oldest erotic dance in the world. It was originally a fertility rite practiced by the Ancient Egyptians in the temples. The dance was an homage to the Egyptian god, Atum-Re. The Ancient Egyptians believed that he brought the world into existence through masturbation. Hinduism holds that a man’s soul is in a constant state of suffering which can only be released through prayer and meditation (Yoga) or through sensual enjoyment where the pleasure of sex frees man from desire (Bhoga). The spiritual guides in the Bhoga practice are beautiful women who teach their followers to cast off the ego and to achieve joy in the total union of the God and Goddess (masculine and feminine) aspects of the Hindu faith. These forms of erotic dance are the precursor to the Western version of the striptease and social dances like the lambada, salsa and the lindy hop.

Social dancing (also known as “the informal arts”) can be distinguished from the “formal arts” because it is not necessarily designed for performance and is based on participation instead of spectacle. Jarrett categorizes erotic dance as somewhere in between the formal and informal arts. She attributes this to the fact that erotic dance relies on creating what she refers to as ‘an intimate distance” between the artist and the spectator. The fantasy being created is a shared fantasy and therefore the boundaries between audience and performer are blurred. This is perhaps what makes this type of dancing so erotically potent. It isn’t simply the movements, or the open sexuality that accompany the movements, but the direct way in which the dancers share their eroticism with their audiences. While social dance can also be overtly sexual, it lacks the performer-audience dynamic that is an integral part of the sexual charge being created in erotic dancing.

Erotic dance in the West began with a British touring company known as the British Blondes. They performed in tights in the 1860’s and the display of leg created a sensationalistic stir that gave birth to a number of spin-off dancing troupes. These ladies traveled throughout the United States as well as England. They also gave birth to particular type of farcical comedy known in England as Burlesque comedy. In England, burlesque still suggests a form of bawdy satire. In the United States, in the second half of the 19^th century, burlesque became associated with illicit entertainment and it became difficult for these women to perform and maintain their reputation. At the same time, in Paris, working class balls gave birth to a new dance known as the “quadrille”, or the pre-cursor to the can-can. The quadrille was all improvisation, all kicking limbs and frenetic movements. The thrill was the view of the women’s undergarments as they kicked and sometimes pulled up their skirts. But by far the biggest impact on Western striptease was the import of the Middle Eastern belly dance. First introduced in the United States at the Chicago World Fair in 1893, belly dance drew 25-30 million visitors and a tremendous amount of scandal. Despite the outraged reactions, people continued to return, drawn by the sensuous movements and uncorseted bodies of the dancers. By the 20^th century, burlesque in the United States had become synonymous with striptease and the art of sexual display, and the audiences were almost entirely male

Perhaps what is so astonishingly consistent throughout the century and a half that erotic dance has existed in the United States is not how much more the women who perform today have to reveal to their audiences, but how these women are marginalized consistently for the exact same reason, decade after decade. To make the argument that it is how much of the body that is revealed by these dancers or the way in which they reveal it that is offensive is to make the exact same argument that was being made one hundred and fifty years ago when women dancing in tights was considered scandalous. Moreover, it is glaringly apparent that all forms of dance, even the ballet, have sexual components to them. So what is it about erotic dance that we find so deeply offensive and disturbing? Is it possible that what we find offensive and disturbing is the overt display of female sexuality? And is it possible that this fear stems from our disconnection with our own erotic potential? Erotic dance is the perfect mirror for our sex phobia. And is it possible that erotic dance, long viewed by our culture as a job for women who are oppressed, uneducated and have very low self-esteem could actually serve another purpose, namely a vehicle for women to reconnect with their sexual and erotic selves? Certainly women in this industry have been exploited and continue to be. But could this be because rather than celebrating these displays of female sexuality, and appreciating them for their beauty, we choose to shame and denigrate them and the women who offer them to us?

As pole dancers, we have the opportunity to fight and even change this perception of erotic dance and the women who choose to learn it and share it with others. We also have the power, through our movement, to constantly define and redefine the boundaries of our sexuality. Hop to it, ladies.

Speech at DC Pole Convention 2010

2010-05-30T17:15:00.000-07:00

Miss out on my speech at the DC Pole Convention last weekend? Well, not to worry. It's on YouTube!

The presentation is broken into four parts. Click on the links below to view each section.

Part 1: Introduction

Part 2: The Inner Temptress

Part 3: Tools and Solutions

Part 4: Questions and Answers

And feel free to share it with others!

DC Pole Convention

2010-05-27T21:55:00.000-07:00

Well, the Pole Convention was a blast! Highlights included the BadKitty Fashion Show, an amazing showcase of your favorite pole stars including Felix Cane, Karol Helms, Alethea Austin, Estee Zakar, Mina Mortezaie, Amber Ray, Zoraya Judd, and Sally-Ann Giles. There was a “Spins and Tricks Battle” won by MISTER Josiah “Badazz” Grant, and there were a number of workshops offered throughout the weekend. All (well, almost all!) of our favorite vendors were there including Bad Kitty Exotic Wear, who launched their amazing new PoleFit line, PoleSkivvies, X-Pole and The Pole Fitness Association. And last but not least, there were a number of speakers who presented on topics ranging from pole going to the Olympics to the importance of eating right. The Convention was well attended and of course, incredibly fun!

Aside from being fun, the pole convention had the benefit of uniting a group of people whose primary form of connection, until this weekend, has been the internet and competitions. It was both exciting and inspiring to see how far some women had traveled (Australia! Luxembourg!) just to be a part of this event. And it spoke to the passion and the dedication that I think is an inherent part of this movement.

What I also found fascinating was how different each dancer’s performance was in the Showcase of the Stars. Styles ranged from an elegant almost ballet-like performance to a sassy burlesque striptease, to several downright sexy, erotic dances. I was very excited that Alethea Austin chose to do quite a bit of floor work in her routine – something that I think is missing in many of the studios. I was also rather pleased that the sensually based movements got just as much applause as the exquisite pole tricks. Whenever a dancer would do something a little naughty, there would be quite a bit of shrieking and cheering from the audience. It appears that women are just as excited about being sexy as they are about throwing tricks on the pole.

As many of you know, I spoke at the convention about bringing pole into the public eye, and how to deal with issue of sexuality in our dance. I cannot tell you how happy I was with everyone who came and listened. I was particularly touched by the stories some of you chose to share. While I know that I did not address everyone’s concerns, I WILL be writing about them in the future. Your questions and comments renewed and affirmed my commitment to sharing the benefits of pole dancing with anyone and everyone who will listen! I was thrilled to be able to present and per your requests, I will be posting my speech on YouTube by the end of the week. Please feel free to forward it anyone who you think would be interested! See you at next year’s convention!

...And I'm Anchored Through My Vagina

2010-05-19T00:00:00.000-07:00

I was recently hanging out with my friend Meghan B, a fellow pole dancer and a woman who is NOT afraid to be in her body. We were talking about pole dancing, and women who pole dance and sharing some frustration about things that we sometimes felt were missing from our dancing, and sometimes from other women’s dancing as well. Meghan was struggling to express exactly what she meant and so finally she just said, “It’s just like there is not enough of THIS!”, making a large downward V-motion along her vagina with her hands, repeatedly. I’m going to insert a picture here, so you can REALLY see what I mean.

“This?” I said, repeating the motion with my own hands, and trying to find words for it.

“Yeah, this!” She said, repeating the motion.

“You mean…Anchoring Through Your Vagina?” I asked.

“YES!” she said. We exploded into laughter, but I knew exactly what she meant. She was talking about this feeling that sometimes, despite all the hip circling and head tossing, there could be a real lack of sexual force and presence in the way we move. That our seat, our pelvic floor, was somehow not connected to the earth, that somehow we weren’t really living in that sexual space between our legs, just making shallow attempts at it. It’s an awful feeling. Empty and powerless.

A few days later I was out with some of my other lovely friends (who have all either pole danced or are currently pole dancing, or are teaching pole dancing) for a mani/pedi/martini evening. As we were letting our nails dry, catching up on each other's lives and flipping through the gossip magazines, Heather announced that Katie Holmes was set to play Jackie O. in some made-for-TV movie. “Whaaaaat?” Everyone was a bit surprised. I pointed out that it was as weird as Jennifer Love-Hewitt being cast to play Audrey Hepburn. It just didn’t feel right, there wasn’t enough oomph, enough presence, enough weight or depth to these women, you know they just weren’t…and all of a sudden I found myself making the downward V-motion along my vagina. Rather emphatically. My friends looked at me quizzically. “Uh, no, we don’t know. What’s…?” And they repeated the motion.

“Anchored Through Your Vagina.” I explained. They laughed their heads off. And of course, they completely got it.

“I love how you said that, like it’s just an everyday thing…and it kind of should be!” said my friend Meghan S. (I have two Meghans in my life, and they are both splendid people).

“Yeah, sort of like ‘What did you do today?’ ‘Oh, I went to get a hamburger, oh and by the way, I’m

Anchored Through My Vagina” said my friend Julie.

EXACTLY like that! For the rest of the evening, we inserted the phrase “Anchored Through My Vagina” whenever possible, along with the hand gestures. Between that, and smacking our own asses at dinner to describe the way someone danced, we had quite the evening.

At one point during dinner, my friend Meghan S. pointed out that it might actually be really important to have that sensation of anchoring, of external force coming from the vagina, because it so often spends its time taking things in. She’s right. We don’t spend a lot of time pushing out from our vaginas, unless we are giving birth. Most of us are hardly aware of our pelvic floors in our day-to-day living. And yet, there is a deep well of knowledge that lives in that part of our bodies. It can inform us about our sexuality, our desires, our fears and our scars. When we take the time to explore that part of ourselves in our dance, we begin to make friends with it. And I think what also begins to happen is that we start to feel a certain weight and presence in our sexuality and in our movements. The movement no longer come from our arms and legs, it comes from our pelvis, from our seat of power. And this discovery gets translated into how we move in our everyday lives.

So the next time you dance, see if you can find that connection to your pelvic floor. And if you feel disconnected from your movement, see if you can find a way through it by exploring the space in between your hip bones. And the next time you are feeling distanced from your sexuality, ungrounded or even disempowered, ladies, simply point your hands into that magical V-Shape (emphatically) and repeat these words: “…And I am Anchored Through My Vagina"!

EXTRA EXTRA!

2010-04-28T20:21:00.000-07:00

Can't get enough of The Pole Story?
Check out my latest blog on how pole dancing can be empowering for women at:

http://www.badkittyexoticwear.com/blog/2010/04/yes-pole-dancing-is-empowering/

Women and Their Erotic Power

2010-04-28T16:01:00.000-07:00

The body remembers, the bones remember, the joints remember, even the little finger remembers. Memory is lodged in pictures and feelings in the cells themselves. Like a sponge filled with water, anywhere the flesh is pressed, wrung, even touched lightly, a memory may flow out in a stream.

Last year I rewrote a chapter out of my thesis called “Women and Their Erotic Power” and sent it to S Factor magazine to be published. Since then, I have not really revisited the topic (except briefly in my review of the play “The Why Factor”) and I think it’s high time. If you managed to make it through my last article without your eyes rolling back in your head, then some of this might seem familiar. If, however, you got to the first quote and quit (and I can hardly blame you), read on!

In past blogs, we have talked about how there is a huge moral stigma associated with sex in the United States. Female sexuality in particular has suffered from cultural oppressions such as the pervasively negative view of “The Whore”. As a result of this oppression, many women are often forced to choose between either repressing the full expression of their sexual feelings and desires or openly expressing their sexuality and being criticized or shamed for this behavior.

We have also talked about how sexuality is primarily experienced in the body. While there are a number of ways to explore sexual repression in women, few of them address the body. When one is to be “embodied” (present in their body both emotionally and physically) the exploration of sexuality can be significantly deepened and many of the underlying psychological issues related to sexuality and the body can be healed. (This, by the way, was the core argument of my thesis for my MA in psychology).

Finally, we have introduced the idea that dance can be an excellent way to explore sexuality and embodiment, particularly erotic dance. The rising popularity of all-female erotic dance classes could be driven by any number of needs: the need to feel something forbidden, to reclaim a lost part of one’s self, or simply to feel sexy. Whatever the drive may be, the result is almost always that women are experimenting with reconnecting to a deeply feminine, primal place. This place is where erotic power resides. In this article, the importance of a meaningful connection to erotic power, as well as its implications for a healthy female psyche will be explored.

In order to understand the erotic and how important it is for women to feel connected to it, it might be helpful to discuss the ideas of several female authors who have defined this primal female place and written about it. Audra Lorde wrote an essay called “Uses of The Erotic”. (She would probably have a heart attack if she knew I was using her essay to defend erotic dance, but then again, it doesn’t seem like she knows a thing about mind-body psychology.) In her essay, Ms. Lorde gives us a brief history of the word “erotic”: The word “erotic” comes from the Greek word “Eros”. “Eros” literally means the personification of love in all its aspects. “Eros” comes from “Chaos”, and “Chaos” is the personification of creative power and harmony. These two definitions – love and creative power and harmony- are key to defining the erotic.

Lorde believes that erotic power, (which lies within each of us, male or female) is a very feminine and spiritual place. It is rooted in the power of being, the power of our unexpressed or unrecognized feeling. She goes on to say that erotic expressions that are superficial (that is, representations of sexuality that lack any sense of connection to our deeper, sensual selves) have been encouraged in our society. This is because they are comfortably interpreted as a symbol of extreme femininity or, alternatively, as signs of female inferiority. However, true erotic power demands that we be in touch with our deepest longings, rather than shying away from them. Lorde defines the erotic as “a measure between the beginnings of our sense of self and the chaos of our strongest feeling.” In other words, the “erotic” serves as an internal guide. It acts as a bridge between our conscious mind and our most chaotic, subconscious emotions. It asks us to look at what we are choosing to do in our lives, but also to examine how we are feeling when we are in that moment of doing. What Lorde is describing is a type of internal “knowing”, based on feelings and non-rational knowledge. She asks us to consider the phrase: “It feels right to me”. This, she says, is an acknowledgement of the strength of the erotic as a form of true knowledge.

Unfortunately, women have come to distrust this power that rises from our deepest and non-rational knowledge. The erotic has often been misnamed, and is often times used against women. It has been made into the confused, the trivial, the psychotic, the plasticized. For this reason, women turn away from their erotic power, and as a result it is rarely regarded as a legitimate source of power and information.

Another woman who writes about the erotic (but gives it a different name) is a psychologist by the name of Clarissa Pinkola Estes. Estes trained as a Jungian analyst and has studied both clinical psychology and ethnology (ethnology is the study of groups, tribes in particular). She has done extensive research of wolves, and in her book Women Who Run with Wolves she draws strong comparisons between women and wolves: Their common traits as well as they ways in which they have both been misunderstood and persecuted. Her name for women’s connection to this deep internal knowledge (or erotic power) is “The Wild Woman”. Estes argues that when women are disconnected from their wild psyche, they suffer. To find themselves, therefore, they must return to “their instinctive lives, their deeper knowing”. Estes has a novel approach for teaching her work, which is primarily through story-telling. This allows her to bring alive various myths and archetypes that embody the Wild Woman. She argues that connecting with this wild nature does not mean coming undone, changing everything, or going crazy or out of control. In fact, she teaches that joining with our instinctual nature means quite the opposite. It means to “establish territory, to find one’s pack, to be in one’s body with certainty and pride regardless of the body’s gifts and limitations; to speak and act in one’s behalf; to be aware, alert, to draw on the innate feminine powers of intuition and sensing; to rise with dignity, and to retain as much consciousness as possible.” Interestingly, this description of the joining with the wild woman is quite similar to Lorde’s description of connection to erotic power.

Estes also describes, in women’s words, some of the symptoms that arise when a woman is disconnected from her wild psyche, her internal guides: “feeling dry, fatigued, depressed, frail, confused, gagged, muzzled, unaroused, frightened, weak, without inspiration, without animation… without meaning, shame-bearing, chronically fuming, stuck, uncreative, compressed, crazed…powerless, blocked, overprotective of self…inability to pace one’s self…to be self-conscious…to fear to venture by one’s self or reveal one’s self, fear one will run on, run out on, run down, cringing before authority, humiliation, numbness, anxiety…afraid to bite back when there is nothing left to do…sick stomach, cut in the middle…becoming conciliatory or nice too easily…superiority complex. These severances, she says, are not a disease of an era or a century, but become an epidemic anywhere and anytime women are captured, anytime the wildish nature has become entrapped.

In one chapter of her book, titled The Joyous Flesh, Estes talks about the body as a vehicle for reconnection with a woman’s wildish nature. She describes the body as a “multilingual being” that speaks through color, temperature, its subtle movements, and its internal sensations such as a leaping heart or a pit in the stomach. She argues that the importance of the body lies not so much in its appearance, but in its vitality, its responsiveness, and its endurance. A woman who constantly must monitor her body and its form is robbed of her joyful relationship to her given form. Estes encourages women to take back their bodies by ignoring the popular ideas about what constitutes happiness and the oppressive obsessions with body shape. Taking your body back means not waiting or holding back, not restricting your appetite for anything - sex, love, work - because society tells you that you are too hungry, but instead living your life full throttle and with tremendous joy. The body, once reclaimed, becomes a tool for gathering information and a source of strength, joy and knowledge for a woman, rather than a source of shame or embarrassment. The purpose of the body and what constitutes a healthy body, says Estes, is that it responds; it can experience a spectrum of feeling, work as it was meant to, and it is not permitted to be anesthetized. In her own unique way, Estes is describing a form of embodiment. She beautifully illustrates a connection to a deeper knowledge within a woman that is possible for every woman, a knowledge that could also be described as erotic power.

This knowledge, this erotic power, can be deeply threatening to some people. Lorde argues that one reason why the erotic is so feared is because it empowers women; it becomes a lens through which women scrutinize things, which forces women to evaluate what is important to them honestly and in terms of its meaning in their lives, rather than settling for the convenient and the conventional or the safe. She echoes Estes’ concerns about living on external guides rather than from internal knowledge and needs. She warns that we should not ignore these “erotic guides”, lest we conform to certain societal structures that are not based on human need. She also agrees that when a woman begins to live from the inside out, and is in touch with this deeper knowledge within her, she begins to be responsible for (and is therefore able to reclaim) herself.

Through these teachings, we can begin to see how connection with not just the body, but with the erotic, the wild woman, that deeper knowledge within is both deeply nourishing and essential to the healthy psyche of a woman. A woman’s authentic connection with her erotic power requires her to be embodied. That is, it requires her to feel all the sensations in her body as they arise, along with the inherent emotional notes that accompany these sensations, and it demands that she consciously acknowledge them. Embodiment also requires that we be able to listen to our body’s experience and notice the areas that are numb or aching, as well as the areas that are open and filled with pleasure. Sexual embodiment demands that we engage in the sensual pleasures of our bodies, acknowledge the accompanying fear and shame and let it go.

It seems that one of the most effective ways for women to gain an authentic connection to their sexuality and their erotic power or potential is through working directly with, and through the body. Because dance is an avenue for working with the body, and because it is inherently sexual, it is a natural tool for helping women to achieve this connection. Specifically, because erotic dance is overtly sexual, for centuries it has served not just as an entertainment venue for men but as a way for women to express their inherent erotic power to each other, to the gods, and to themselves. Unfortunately, it has also been subverted into a practice that exploits women and encourages shallow representations of extreme femininity and of the act of sex itself.

But what if the movements of erotic dance, the art of the striptease, were removed from the public venue and put in a different environment—an all-female one? How would this change it? This is exactly what is happening across the country with the widespread popularity of all-female exotic dance classes, and the result thus far has been nothing short of a modern-day female awakening.

Interview with Sheila Kelley

2010-04-22T17:39:00.000-07:00

This week, The Pole Story sat down with Sheila Kelley, the founder of S Factor Movement, to find out what her studio is all about and how she sees pole dancing helping women. But first, a little background:

Sheila Kelley is a passionate voice for the advancement of women in the world. She is an esteemed actress, author, filmmaker and dancer.

When she starred in and produced the film, Dancing at the Blue Iguana, she needed to prepare for the role of "Stormy" by learning how to striptease and pole dance. As a result, her body became long, lean and fit. She decided to take her knowledge of ballet, exercise and exotic dancing and combine them into the most effective fitness dance workout ever devised for and about women - S Factor.

"S Factor was born when I discovered my sensual power and the best body of my life while preparing for my role as an exotic dancer." says Sheila. "My life changed so profoundly just from moving in this organically feminine way that I’ve dedicated myself to sharing this extraordinary Journey with other women." (from S Factor website)

1. You have built the largest and most well known pole dancing company in The United States. S Factor has 7 locations across the country and many devotees. At a time when pole dancing is exploding and new studios are cropping up everywhere, what do you think sets S Factor apart?

What sets S Factor apart from pole studios, yoga studios, from Pilates studios or any other form of workout is the groundbreaking S Factor technique of movement, which is a choreographed series of flowing curved movements that are seamlessly combined together to form the S Factor workout. Each class within the classic journey series of 7 levels has several elements, one of which is the pole. When you call S Factor a pole dancing studio, well, we do teach pole and we love our poles, but there is so much more within each class. In fact this coming year we are introducing 2 new elements to the upper level classes. Watch out world for another mind-blowing experience in the form of challenging the status quo!

2. S Factor focuses on the emotional journey of their students in class as well as the fitness aspect. Why do you feel that it is important for women to get in touch with the emotionality of the dance? What happens? Why did you decide to include this as part of the S Factor curriculum?

My passion in life is helping women find their S. Whether it’s on the pole, in a chair, on a mat on the floor in their S movement or at a board meeting surrounded by men in suits. Seemingly simple goal, right? Women have come a long way from shutting down their bodies out of fear of objectification and fear of judgment but not so far that they feel safe and entitled to the beauty that is their feminine S-ness. I started S Factor in 1999. What happened to me when I discovered this side of myself the side I call the Erotic Creature, is my entire life shifted into Technicolor overdrive and I have not stopped reaping the benefits since. I found my body truth in movement as a fully realized, sexually alive woman and what I have gotten back is completeness and all the universe has to offer.

2. You have taught women like Oprah Winfrey and Martha Stewart (Martha!!) to S walk, to hip circle, to let their sexy sides come out to play. In your opinion, what is the biggest barrier that women face in terms of embracing their sexual side?

Teaching Oprah the S walk, hip circles and peel off on her show in 2003 was one of the most enlightening moments in my life. First off, it set the world on fire and helped blossom what is becoming a beautiful new fitness trend and global industry! But personally what it did was show me that the moment is now for the advancement of the feminine into her rightful place in her body and in the world.

Now seven years later getting Martha Stewart to move into her S through hip circles and pole playing was another monumental moment in history. Here’s a woman, a cultural icon, who is synonymous with the word “conservative” moving her body sensually and with great joy! Then to top it off she jumps up to the pole and takes a fun swirl and almost flies into the “Half-Pint” pole trick! Yes, oh yes, the world is changing and that change is very, very good.

But there are still many barriers. In this journey, women are up against thousands of years of social conditioning to get their bodies back. Fear is the greatest of these barriers. No matter how many other women they see playing in the field of their femininity, like Oprah and Martha during my visits to their shows, the majority of women have been conditioned through social morays, religious beliefs, traditions and cultural boundaries to keep their bodies locked and shut down. Fear is an ugly friend to have yet so many women carry it around with them wherever they go. The funny thing is, once a woman confronts this fear and actually walks through the S Factor doors, sits down on her mat and begins to move it is almost as if the fear just evaporates. Instantly! That is how organic this movement really is. I find that miraculous transition truly inspiring.

3. The word "empowerment" is used quite a bit in reference to pole dancing. What do you think makes this movement so empowering for women?

Any movement that allows a woman to live fully in her body and her sexuality without shame is going to empower her. Whether you are into pole dancing for fitness, for self-improvement, for self-expression, or to titillate a lover, the fact that you are playing around a pole, (which no matter how hard the world tries to deny it or ignore it, is a phallic symbol to the male eye) is going to provoke the feminine in any woman.

6. What is the major difference between what happens at S factor studios and what happens in a strip club?

At a strip club a woman in encouraged and paid to sell her body visually. She is paid to arouse customers. She is performing for the benefit of someone else and is exploiting her body to make money. Any way you look at it she is undervaluing her body. No matter how much money a customer pays her, she is underselling one of the great natural wonders of the world, because the value of the female body is priceless.

On the other hand, at S Factor, a woman is learning to express the authentic nature of her sexuality and her wondrous beauty. She is being allowed to explore the natural inclination her body has to move into her curves with truth, muscle, emotion and individuality. Ahhhhh…..pure bliss. Oh yes and there’s the P-O-L-E, too!!! Playing on the pole is akin to what I imagine it would be like to fly on the soaring wings of a phoenix.

7. If you could do one thing for women, what would it be?

S Factor!!!! (Smile.) I’ve already created a movement technique that I love. I believe it is fun and inspiring for any woman who gives it a try. What I would like to do next is expand the S to include more facets of women; S retreats, S clothing, S forums, S for teens, S road trips, S books and DVD’s, etc. I would like to continue to help women create our own culture. And, because I am a professional provocateur, of course I would like to continue to push the boundaries and what is considered ‘appropriate’ feminine behavior. I’d like to turn other sexually stereotypical icons on their heads and re-assign them for the benefit of the feminine. Touché!

8. Is there anything else you would like to add?

I love having you, Claire Sterrett, in class! Watching your Erotic creature come out is no less than wow, holy heck and hallelujah! Can’t wait for next week.

Thanks Sheila! I'm looking forward to it too!

*Please note that the opinions reflected in Pole Story interviews do not necessarily represent The Pole Story's views

Dancer In The Dark

2010-04-13T17:14:00.001-07:00

I danced blindfolded today. A silk tie was wrapped around my head two, three times, and tied in a knot. I was led by my hand to the dance floor and instructed to lie down on the hardwood. I remember feeling acutely aware of my limbs, and the sensation of my feet on the floor, which felt so strange after dancing the last song in 6-inch stilettos. And I also remember being aware that I had no idea where anything was around me – not my classmates sitting on the bench, not the poles, not the overstuffed chair where we did our lap dances. I had been turned in a circle several times before being asked to lie down and a vague dizziness was still fluttering around my temples. One of my teachers gave a last minute instruction to my classmates, who were watching me from the bench: “Remember ladies, no cheering for the blindfolded dance - just silence.” Oh.

Alice in Chains came blaring through the speakers. “Heeeeeyyyyaaa IIIII ain’t never coming home…” My body started moving, pushing against the music. “Breeeeeeaaaathe, Claire!” A teacher’s voice floated across the room. I tried to take a breath in and realized that I hadn’t exhaled in a while. I pushed hard, arching, twisting, extending, asking, begging to be heard, to be felt, to be seen. I felt exposed, deeply vulnerable, and my heart was splitting inside my chest. My blindfold fell off early into the song, but I kept my eyes firmly shut, determined to keep that achiness in my heart alive, determined to move from that place, determined to make the world feel my pain, the pain that poured out of every finger tip, the grief that came every time I arched my back open, splaying my legs, pushing my ass back. I was dancing out my loneliness, my feeling of immense isolation, my rage at the stupid bitch of an ex-girlfriend, who, five years later, still couldn’t figure out what a boundary was, the plasticized Barbie who cut me off in her Mercedes this morning, the boyfriend who could never in a million years be everything that I wanted, because nobody could. I was dancing out my anger at my own destructive impulses and my conflicting need to keep them close, to burn it all down. I was dancing out my insecurity, tangling it up with my strength. I pulled from the earth into my body. I wanted to shake the ground with my anger so you could feel my power and be terrified. At the same time I wanted to throw my head back, arch my chest, open my soft belly and legs and invite you in. I wanted you to reach out to me, to see me – all of me - all the contradictions, all the confusion, all the beauty, all the awkwardness, all the pain and joy, all the rage and vulnerability. I wanted you to feel it with me, to see that it was real and true. At one point in my dance I remember wanting to connect with something, anything- a pole, a chair, someone’s foot. I wanted to feel another person close by; I wanted to know where I was. I crawled, slowly, feeling each muscle fiber, every sensation in my body, for what seemed like eternity and found nothing but empty space. Accepting the solitude, I slid my belly back onto the floor, dancing out the rest of my song.

The vulnerability in dancing blindfolded is not just the sense of disorientation, but the absolute silence and solitude that accompanies your dance. There is no one to push against, to flirt with, to torture, to impress, to be embarrassed by. There is just you, and your body, and the music and the movement. By the end of the dance, I was emotionally raw. I could feel the tears pushing up through my throat. My teacher sat down with me, as she always does after we dance. “How was that?” Very emotional, I responded. “Did you see the story? The heartache?", she asked the class. I can’t remember exactly how it went, but the next thing I knew, I was climbing back up into my head, talking, talking, and talking. My teacher stopped me. “I don’t want to you to talk. I want you to stay in that emotional space.” I suddenly became aware of just how resistant I was to that vulnerable space at that particular moment. How truly letting my body take over (for today anyway) had meant letting all of that vulnerability come out. In the past, my dancing has let the torturing, vengeful, dirty, angry side of me out. That is a part of me, of my sexuality, so I don’t think it will ever disappear from my dancing. But today there was another part of my body and my psyche speaking to me. The part that wanted to be touched and held and loved. The part that felt immense sorrow and loss. The part that was terrified of being alone but even more terrified of being let down.

I was the last to dance, and so class was over. As I got quiet and moved back into that vulnerable place, the tears spilled out. I got hugs from my classmates. Dancing is hard sometimes, said one of them. Indeed.

Yes I'm a Goddess, Yes I'm A Whore

2010-03-28T12:13:00.001-07:00

The pole story is guest blogging for BadKittyExoticWear!

To see the latest entry (called "Yes, I'm a Goddess, Yes, I'm a Whore")

Go to http://www.badkittyexoticwear.com/blog/

Why Can't The Olympics Be Sexy, Dammit?

2010-03-09T20:32:00.000-08:00

“It’s not simply that so many of us are uncomfortable about sexuality. It’s the relationship that individuals and the culture have with that discomfort. The discomfort does not get discussed honestly, nor do most people feel in any way obligated to resolve these feelings. Instead, the discomfort is considered normal and fixed, and the objects of discomfort – sexual words, music, art, and expression-are the things considered expendable.” Marty Klein, PhD.

The debate about pole dancing in the Olympics is a fiery one, and I’m not done talking about it! For those of you who read my responses on www.expressthesensual.com and The Pole Story’s Facebook page, this might be a tad redundant, so I apologize. Onward.

I wrote my thesis for my MA in psychology on how erotic dance can help women to reconnect with their sexuality, and I focused on pole dancing, specifically. The argument I make is that pole dancing provides a therapeutic context in which women can heal from any wounding (individual or collective) surrounding their sexuality. This wounding can be something as simple as needing to learn how to let go of exercising our masculine side and allowing the feminine to come forward. For example, many women have gotten used to behaving in a very masculine way, i.e. directional, goal-oriented, and assertive in order to accomplish certain things in life. There is nothing inherently wrong with this and many women have achieved quite a bit by doing so. However, a possible pitfall to over-exercising the masculine is that a woman loses touch with or forgets how to live in the more receptive, more feminine side. Many women I know in high powered, stressful jobs find that their pole dance classes help them not just to relax, but to feel “like a woman again”. Other women who study different forms of sensual dance, such as belly dancing, have echoed this sentiment. In an article in the March 22, 2009 issue of Washington Post Magazine a woman named Rachael Galoob was interviewed about her local belly dance studio. Galoob is a former attorney with two law degrees who decided to leave her law career in order to perform and teach. Her students tend to be well-educated professionals in high-powered jobs. Many of them come to belly dance classes in order to reconnect with their feminine side. They claim this sensual movement reduces their stress levels by forcing them to focus on their body and their movement and that it helps them to feel more beautiful.

According to my research and studies, what makes pole dancing so healing isn’t the pole tricks as much as it is the experience of moving sensually and slowly and the feeling that creates in your body. So a concern I have about turning pole dancing into an Olympic sport is that it takes away the healing potential of this movement. That’s not to say that there wouldn’t be room for other types of pole dancing to exist. Indeed, none of the groups pushing for pole dancing to join the Olympics are saying that this should be the only form of pole available to the public. But I think what is being argued here, among other things, is how do we mainstream pole dancing? What is going to be the primary way in which the rest of the general public engages with this art form? And perhaps part of the reason why some dancers are against having pole dancing in the Olympics is because it would inevitably make that particular form of pole dancing or pole fitness, the most common or the most publicly viewed. And many dancers feel that a fitness based gymnastics form of pole dance is not representative, perhaps, of the art and the soul, and the history of pole dancing.

If we think about why we enjoy watching gymnastics or dance, we find that there is actually a great deal of overlap. We admire the strength, the precision, the grace and the flexibility expressed in the bodies we are watching. However, dance differs from gymnastics in a few very important ways. Dance is designed to evoke a narrative - specific emotions, conflicts and insights – and a dancer who succeeds in achieving these things has turned her body into something communicative. Because of this, she frequently creates an emotional reaction in her audience. This emotional narrative does not exist in gymnastics, nor are gymnastics designed to evoke an emotional response in its onlookers. Moreover, pole dancing is not about recreating a purity of form in the way that other forms of dance, such as ballet, are. While there are certain moves and tricks that can be “standardized” one of the beautiful things about pole dancing is that it is, more often than not, “an execution of clear and concise movements and gestures that are expressive of inner states unique to the particular performer, to the passing mood, even to the fleeting instant” (Juhan, 255-56). Part of what makes pole dancing so thrilling to watch is the inventiveness and spontaneity of the dancers, and how intensely personal their movements are. So the difference in style between someone who approaches pole dancing as a gymnastics-based movement versus someone who approaches it as a dance-based movement is actually quite substantial. No wonder it is such a charged subject!

I think, as women, know in our bodies and in our hearts and souls what this movement does for us. We know subjectively (subjective knowing being a more feminine way of knowing something – based on intuition and a felt body sense) that this movement has touched us, shaped us, woken us up, ignited fires and yes, changed our psyches. In my humble opinion, the way in which some of the community is seeking to “legitimize” pole dancing feels threatening not just because it approaches the movement in a way that feels unfamiliar (to me, personally), but because it is basically saying to those of us that already know what we feel in our bodies, “Well, that’s not good enough.” Not only are the more feminine, empowering parts of this dance at risk of being lost, but also we are, on some level, being told the very experience each of us has in our bodies is not a “legitimate” enough source of information. And I think that is deeply hurtful to the feminine – whose primary power and source of knowledge is the sensate, the body. It is a larger symptom of our culture’s dismissal and critique of the body as a source of knowledge. Trying to turn pole dancing into an Olympic sport if you are in it for the art form, for the sensual aspects, for the engagement with that deeply feminine part of yourself, is in some ways, taking a very feminine experience and forcing it into the more masculine, objective world of measurements, restrictions, linear direction and goals. When we de this, we lose the flavor, the power, and the feminine essence of the movement. This concerns me not because I think that pole dancing will become vertical gymnastics only, but because vertical gymnastics will become “the standard” of pole dancing. Instead of allowing a woman’s natural sensuality and sexiness to unfold on stage, we will ask her to present a sanitized version of what was once a deeply sexual movement. Instead of asking our country to look at it’s own deeply imbedded cultural biases and fears around female sexuality, we will give them something that makes them feel comfortable and allows those prejudices to go unexamined. Women who continue to infuse their dancing with sexual movement and sensuality will continue to be looked down upon as “whores”. Nothing will have changed.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: As pole dancers, we have a very real opportunity to shift the way the public views female sexuality. It’s not going to be easy, and there is no guarantee of success, but in my opinion, it’s deeply important for women everywhere.

To that end, this push for the Olympics has done something positive by thrusting pole dancing into the public spotlight. Erotic dance is an excellent mirror for our culture’s sex phobia, and this Olympic debate is forcing people’s prejudices, fears and beliefs into plain view. This is good because, ideally, it allows these beliefs to be examined, instead of festering in the unspoken unconscious somewhere. So, in some ways, this change has already begun. But much remains ahead of us. It is my personal hope that, no matter where it ends up, pole dancing is able to retain its erotic, sensual, striptease roots.

For more on this topic, please go to www.expressthesensual.com

EXTRA EXTRA!

2010-03-08T00:13:00.000-08:00

The Pole Story will be guest blogging at www.badkittyexoticwear.com!

The first post is up now!

Also see Claire's interview for The Pole Story at www.poleskivvies.com!

An Olympic Sized Debate

2010-02-26T19:37:00.001-08:00

MSNBC recently posted an article in their “Weird News” section about the possibility of Pole Dancing becoming an Olympic sport. There have subsequently been a number of other news sites, blogs, and websites that have reposted this article and it has generated quite a buzz. The article was interesting enough, but the comments were what really fascinated me. After having read hundreds of comments on dozens of different websites (and commenting a bit myself) I think the public’s reaction to pole dancing becoming an Olympic Sport falls under a few different categories. One popular response was to ridicule the idea, based either on a lack of knowledge for how much athleticism pole dancing actually requires, or based on the exclusion of other sports (i.e. cricket’s not a sport, why should pole dancing be a sport?). Another common response was to immediately confuse what happens in a pole dance competition with what happens in a club thereby resulting in snarky comments about judges shoving medals into dancer’s thongs. A few applauded the idea, citing the hard work it takes and making comparisons to gymnastics, etc. However, the overall response was negative and the negativity, in my opinion, stemmed from our culture’s overall discomfort with overt displays of female sexuality. One commenter actually said that it would be fine to have pole dancing as an Olympic sport as long as it was stripped (haha) of every sexual overtone. Um, ok.

Let me be frank and straightforward for a moment here. I know absolutely nothing about what it takes to qualify as an Olympic sport. In fact, I know very little about sports, period. I have never danced competitively and it does not interest me to do so. I dance because it connects me a deeply feminine, sexual part of my self. I dance because it feels good in my body. The fact that it gets me fit is just a bonus. So I’m not really sure how important it is to me personally that pole dancing gain Olympic standing. With that said, I support the women who feel that it is important, and, I think that this very public push has done something excellent for the pole dancing community, which is to put pole in the public spotlight. And pole dancing, because of it’s sensual and erotic roots, holds up a mirror to our culture’s sex phobia.

The overall response from the general public reflects a real discomfort with women dancing sensually and evoking the erotic. Whether this discomfort is reflected by third-grade comments about women taking their clothes off (nudity! yeah!) or flat out misogyny from both men AND women (those skanky whores need to find a real job!) the message is that we have a long way to go before people begin to accept that an erotic, sensual expression of the female body is worthy of respect. Pole dancing is, and hopefully always will be, a sensual form of movement, and I think that is why most people balk at it being in the Olympics. Because in our culture, rather than celebrating the sensuality of the female body, we censor it and we shame it and we denigrate it. If we could change how we view a woman who chooses to celebrate her sensuality through dance, if we could look at this movement as a celebration of the female body, of its innate sensuality, of its sexual power and beauty, then maybe pole dancing, and even stripping could be integrated into the mainstream and viewed as a practice that is worthy of respect.

So I want to know what you, the pole dancers think. Should it pole dancing become an Olympic Sport? Why? Should we sacrifice the sexiness for mainstream recognition? Do you think if our culture were more sex-positive, the perspective on pole dancing would shift? Is it possible for stripping and pole dancing to gain the respect of the general public as a legitimate sensual expression of female sexuality and power?

The Pole Story Builds Bridges! Check It Out!

2010-02-17T13:06:00.000-08:00

As you will recall, a couple of weeks ago I posted Part 2 of the Pole Dancer's Guide to The Anti-Poler and I called it "Building a Bridge". In an effort to practice what I preach, I found a an anti-pole dance blog entry and I responded to it. Go to the link below and check out what happened.

http://blog.nj.com/fitness/2010/02/try_exercise_to_improve_your_sex_life_for_valentines_day.html

Silent Bodies: Why Pole Dancing Might be Essential for Some Young Women

2010-02-12T20:32:00.000-08:00

A while back, I wrote a little tirade about how irritating I found Ariel Levy and her limiting views on female sexuality to be. I also said that Levy, for all her wing-flapping, fell short of offering any real solutions to the problems she felt were plaguing our culture with regards to women and sexuality. And I suggested that I might have some solutions. Which I do. But first, let’s revisit a topic that dear Ariel and I can both almost agree on: pleasure and desire in young women.

In her book, Levy takes a chapter to talk about how “Raunch Culture” is affecting young women. She very astutely points out that female adolescents, who are already dealing with raging hormones, peer pressure, the need to fit in, etc. are being bombarded with images of sexiness in the media and being pressured to look sexy while simultaneously being told through abstinence –only programs in their schools, not to have sex. Confusing for anyone, I would imagine, but even more so for a teen. Levy points out that we are doing very little to help girls distinguish their sexual desires from their desires for attention. The sad thing about this, she says, is that from the beginning of their experiences as sexual beings, they regard sex as a performance that you give for attention, rather than something thrilling that you engage in because you want to. I couldn’t agree more.

Even more fascinating is Levy’s reference to Deborah Tolman, a woman who has researched and written extensively on teen girls and sexuality. Tolman talks to girls about their experience of “wanting” versus their experience of “sex”, which is more often than not about being wanted. Tolman (and Levy) use the phrase “silent bodies” to describe the sexual experiences of these young girls. Whether or not these women were having sex, they had a very difficult time feeling and expressing arousal and desire in their bodies. They instead chose to muffle these feelings, out of fear for where it might take them, shame and anxiety. Nevertheless, they were still engaging in sexual activities and more often than not, these activities were described as having “just happened” to them. Tolman points out that not feeling any sexual desire can put girls at great risk. “When a girl does not know what her own feelings are, when she disconnects the apprehending psychic part of herself from what is happening in her own body, she then becomes especially vulnerable to the power of others’ feelings.” Or, as Levy sums it up, you have to know what you want in order to know what you don’t want.

In her book Dilemmas of Desire, Tolman argues that sexual desire, in and of itself, is not dangerous, essentially masculine or monstrous. It’s a part of our relational world, a sign of our connection to our own bodies and our connection to other people. Basing her argument on Jean Baker Miller’s assertion that sexual authenticity (the ability to bring one’s own real feelings of sexual desire and sexual pleasure meaningfully into intimate relationships) is a key feature of women’s psychological health, Tolman says that the body is the counterpart of the psyche in the ongoing process of constructing a subjective sense of one’s sexuality. “Desire is a form of knowledge, gained through the body: In desiring, I know I exist.”

If what Tolman and Levy are saying is true, then a very real solution to the problem would be to educate young women on how to develop a subjective sense of their sexual selves. In other words, to teach them how to get in touch with what desire and arousal feel like to them, how they experience it in their bodies and how to express what they want and don’t want. When Ariel Levy talks about the pornification of our culture, I think what she is talking about is the extent to which she sees women, young and not-so-young, imitating or playing at being sexy. There is a difference between a woman who is “acting” sexy for the sake of wanting to be desired by someone or wanting to fit in to something and a woman who is “being” sexy, that is fully embodying her sexuality and fully aware of and owning her desires, without apology and without shame. The former becomes an easy target for other people’s desires, because her main objective is to please. The latter will pick and choose who she wants to share herself with and when based on her experience of what her body is telling her. But in order to hear her body, she has to learn to listen to it. Guess what we’re going to talk about now?

I dance at S Factor studios. You may or may not be familiar with S Factor’s curriculum, but one of the things they ask their students to focus on is how they feel in their bodies when they are dancing. They spend a lot of time on floor work, which gets you out of your head, they encourage you to slow down and pay attention to your breath, but most of all, they encourage their students to pay attention to what they are feeling in their bodies as they move. I feel a lot of different things in my body when I dance sexually: anger, shame, fear, joy, sadness, exhaustion. But desire is a part of every movement I make. I move my body in a way that feels good to me. I learn to touch myself and really experience the sensual pleasure of running my hand across my breasts or my belly. And by doing this, I not only awaken desire in my body, I become intimate with what desire feels like in my body. So here we have a very sexual, movement based practice, in a safe, all-female environment that encourages women to gain a subjective sense of their bodies through desire. Is this not exactly what these young women’s “silent bodies” are sorely in need of? A way to awaken, familiarize and de-stigmatize their experience of desire? So why is Ariel Levy getting her proverbial panties in a twist over pole dancing classes? If it were up to me, some form of all-girls erotic dance class would be a part of sex education for women in schools across the country. Teenage girls are already bombarded with images of what “acting” sexy looks like. It’s time to teach them what “being” sexual feels like in their bodies. The pitfalls of having inexperienced, uneducated, silent sexually active women are too great. Quite frankly, I think there are women well out of their teenage years who could also benefit from this type of education. Maybe that’s part of the reason the pole movement s gaining so much momentum in the world.