Interview with the Fabulous Sheena LaShay!

So I love being interviewed.  Especially about pole dancing.  And it's even better when the questions I get asked really make me think.  So it's no wonder that I loved "talking" with Sheena LaShay!  She is smart, articulate, thoughtful, and she is passionate about the pole and female sensuality.  And we see eye-to-eye on quite a bit!

Click here to read the interview and don't forget to check out the rest of her website!

U.S. Embassy Rejects Pole Dancers - Response to Pole Spin's Article

I recently read in Pole Spin Magazine that several dancers were given a hard time coming to the United States to pole dance.  I found the article intriguing, but I was a little disappointed in the tone and the message.  In an attempt to create a dialogue about the topic (because I think it's important) I posted a comment.  For whatever reason, the comment was deleted and comments were subsequently closed.  At any rate I'm curious to hear what the pole community thinks about this topic.  So please,

Click here to read the article.

And read my comment below...then let me know what you think.

I'm actually glad to hear that the Feds are on point with regards to human trafficking.  I think it's great that they are being so cautious. Yes, people still confuse pole dancing with stripping.  And it's unfortunate that these women got caught in the middle of that.  But I'm not sure how I feel about having work in a gentlemen's club referred to as "sleazy and illegal'" since that's not always the case.  And frankly, I found the tone of this article to be a bit disparaging towards the industry that gave birth to pole dancing: the strip club industry.

What this story points out is not that "we have a long way to go before the stripper association is dislodged from people's minds".  Rather, I think it points out that we still have a huge problem with human trafficking and sex slavery.  And I think that dislodging the stripper association from pole dancing will not, in the big picture, do that much to help the much bigger problem of how our culture relates to expressions of female sexuality (which in turn, contributes to problems like human trafficking and sex slavery).  And, I think it's hypocritical to look down on the women who started this movement - i.e. the strippers.  If we talk about this movement being empowering for women then we disown the very women who created it, then we are not practicing what we preach.  It's not that I don't think there is a difference between clubs and studios, stripping and pole dancing - there is.  But we don't need to make that difference apparent by putting down women who choose to dance in a different context.  It has nothing to do with the movement.  I've seen women who dance extremely sensually in competitions and performances.  Removing the sexiness from the movement is not what will change people's minds about pole dancing.  Rather, we need to educate them about the differences in the environment and the purpose of the dance when it comes to clubs and studios, and help them to get more comfortable with displays of female sensuality.

Miley Cyrus - A Pole Lotta Trouble

Miley Cyrus is the latest tween-turned-teen to find herself under scrutiny for somehow tarnishing her “good girl” image by, well, growing up.   Says Cyrus, “Every 18-year-old explores sexuality and experiments and tries things.  For me there’s no reason to change that.  You have to be true to yourself.”  Cyrus isn’t just growing up - she is growing up and being honest about it.  Which is a refreshing change from other child stars that have made a similar transition.  Take Britney Spears for example who said in her very first interview with Rolling Stone Magazine that she wasn’t trying to be sexy.  Uh-huh, sure Brit.

What’s interesting about the public perception of Cyrus is that her transition from girl to woman is met with such shock and outrage.  It’s as though watching Miley Cyrus go from a blonde, innocent little girl to a sexy young woman reminds us that all of our daughters will eventually go through that same transition.  And no one likes to think about his or her little girl as a sexy woman. 

But why is that?  And even more importantly, why, the second that a woman begins to play with, or experiment with her sexuality do we start the think of her as “bad”?  While it’s true that an 18-year-old woman may no longer be a fitting role model for young girls, is that particularly surprising or wrong?  And why should we shame a young woman for no longer being a role model for girls by calling her “bad” or even “controversial”?  It’s as if we want to punish her for coming into womanhood.

Miley’s fan base has grown up alongside her.  She is behaving like a young adult, just as they are, and being very open about it.  “The ones who do look up to me as a role model…I think it’s because I’m so real. If they tell you that they haven’t tried this or haven’t experimented with that, they’re lying. And I’ll never do that because personally I can’t, because there will be some proof on the Internet.” 

 

We don’t offer young women today any guidance on how to explore their sexuality.  Instead, we tell them what to watch out for, what not to be, and what to avoid completely.  But this pushes women down a deeply inauthentic and sexually disconnected path.  Instead, we need to teach them how to discover what their sexuality means to them. And if sexuality is something that is primarily experienced in the body, then the best and healthiest way to explore sexuality is through the body – whether through dressing up, dance or even touch.  Miley Cyrus got in a lot of trouble when she used a pole in her performance for “Party in the USA”.  Ironically, pole dancing can be an excellent way for a woman to explore her sexuality.   Pole dancing awakens the body and teaches women about sensuality – usually in an all-female environment.  The majority of women who pole dance will say that it has increased their confidence as well as their awareness of their sense of desire in their bodies. 

Women make well-informed and judicious decisions about their sexuality when they have an experience of and relationship to the feeling of desire that resides in their body, rather than just an intellectual relationship with it.  If a young woman, through dance, dress-up or touch can begin to feel in her body what she likes and doesn't like, what feels good to her and what doesn't, if she can begin to relate to her sexuality, not just as being accessible to a man, but as something that is hers - to share or not share - then perhaps she will carry that out into the world, into her interactions with men and women.  And if she does, than she will be better equipped to know, through her own internal direction and guidance, what she wants and doesn't want when it comes to sex.  And this is a very individual decision.    If we want to teach women to make healthy decisions for themselves and to be sexually empowered then we must give them permission to freely explore their desires. 

Miley Cyrus is doing what every young woman does when she starts to discover her sexuality and its power: she is playing with it, experimenting, trying things on.  And she is trying to stay true to herself.  The majority of the media’s response to this behavior has been, “Should Miley be sexy?” 

Why the hell not?

It would be so wonderful if instead of being upset and threatened by her newfound sexiness, the public could recognize the beauty that is unfolding before them, appreciate the honesty with which she is exploring her sexuality and applaud her for becoming a woman.  After all, that’s exactly what we would do for a young man.  Take for example Taylor Lautner, from the popular Twilight movies.  At 19 years old, he is promoted as a sexy young stud and admired for his constant shirtless appearances.   And yet the young women who scream for him to remove his shirt, who show their sexual desire for him, who put on thigh high boots to get his attention- the ones who ultimately put him in the spotlight by being fans - are considered “bad” somehow.  They are going through the same thing as Miley.  They are figuring out what they want and expressing the changes in their minds and their bodies.   But the difference is the minute a woman puts her sexuality on display, everyone starts to ask where she went wrong.   And when a man does it, he gets a handshake and a pat on the back.  Nobody is asking whether or not Taylor Lautner should be sexy or whether or not he is a bad boy for doing so.  So why is Miley Cyrus in so much trouble?

Girl Next Door: Every Girl Has a Naughty Little Secret

Kelly Yvonne’s Girl Next Door: A Pole Dance Soiree is a delicious, fun and refreshing collection of pole dance vignettes performed at the King King in Hollywood every Sunday.  And the message is this: Everyone has an inner vixen.  Now invite her out to play!  The show opens with a few “housewives” dressed in peek-a-boo tutus and corsets meeting their new neighbors.  There is one housewife in particular who has not quite discovered her inner sex kitten.  Another woman takes it upon herself to begin to school her in the art of sexiness. This is, of course, all done very playfully and tongue-in-cheek.  And to a sexed up version of Mr. Rogers’ “Won’t You Be My Neighbor?”  It’s outstanding. 

There are fifteen performances and each one is a mini-story told through dance.  Most of them are done on the pole and the floor with the exception of an aerial hoop show above the bar, and another performance done on aerial silks.  There are two poles – one on the stage and one in the middle of the audience.  The dancers use both, as well as a small runway that juts out into the audience.  What ties the performances together is the idea that each of these women is taking a break from her daytime persona and revealing to the audience her sensual, sexy, secret side.  The program lists each of the dancers and their “day jobs” on one side.  Turn the program over and you see each of the dancers listed by the name of the song they perform to.  “Il Mio Bel Foco” had a violinist and an opera singer as music.  A pole dancer danced at the mercy of a cruel ringleader, bearing a whip, until she finally wins him over.  “On the Couch” was a man (well, a woman dressed as a man) begging for forgiveness from his woman for being late, ultimately seducing her by the end.  “Need You Tonight” was a dancer who performed for a video camera, her eyes never leaving the lens.  And “Bloodstream” was done entirely behind a sheer curtain with maybe only three pole tricks.  But it was easily one of the most intoxicating performances of the evening – with the exception of the finale of course. In the finale, each of the dancers took her turn dancing on a giant net above the stage, followed by a walk through the audience, a trick on a pole in the audience, a sexy little wall dance and finally, a walk or a crawl onto the stage for a final bow.  And they owned it.

 

Girl Next Door works well as a show because the simplicity of the presentation allows the unique and very different styles of the dancers to shine through without losing a sense of continuity and without taking itself too seriously. In between the different dances we watch the reserved housewife, with the help of her neighbor, discover and unleash her sexy side until, at the very end, she gets on the pole.  The show is sponsored by X-Pole, The Pole Garage, Quain Photo and Alexander’s For Hair and produced, created and directed by Kelly Yvonne.  It’s in its second season and the company has 28 members.  

Girls Next Door does an amazing job of blending pole artistry, athleticism and dance into a sexy, flirty, fun-filled show.  The secret is out.  Now go see for yourself!

www.girlnextdoorshow.com for tickets

Performances are the first Sunday of every month at The King King

Bridging the Gap Between Club and Studio: Evolve Performance Night

Annemarie Davies, founder of UPA and creator of Performance Night at Evolve.

Last weekend I had the pleasure of attending Performance Night at Evolve Pole Dance Studio.  Performance Night was started by Annmarie Davies, founder of  United Pole Artists and it showcases both students and teachers with varying levels of expertise.  There three things that set Performance night at Evolve apart from other studio recitals:

1. You are encouraged to tip the dancers with faux dollars.

2. The dances are unchoreographed.

3. There is an open bar.  

I’m assuming everyone is on board with reason number three and I don’t have to go into the merits of having an open bar.  Reason number one, however, might raise a few eyebrows.  Isn’t that the exact opposite of the image we are trying to create in the pole dancing industry?  Isn’t it demeaning to the women dancing?  As it turns out, no.  The dollars are a form of appreciation, along with applause and screams and both the dancers and the audience (men and women) understand this.  Now you and your boyfriend might have different reasons for throwing the dollars.  But at the end of the day, the attitude of the audience members is deeply respectful of both the art and the sensuality of pole dancing.  Which it turns out, is exactly Annmarie’s goal in creating the venue.  “I wanted to bridge the gap between stripping and pole dancing.  I want the women to have the experience of performing for “money” but in a safe environment.  I’m bringing a little bit of Jumbo’s into the studio”, says Davies.  Jumbo’s Clown Room is a famous bikini and burlesque bar in Hollywood.  It’s known for staging performance art striptease.  Davies is a performer there.

Reason number two: You might think an unchoreographed dance translates into disaster. Not in the pole world.  The dancers were amazing to watch.  And frankly, the lack of choreography made the movement more sensual and inspired than the usual pole show.  There was plenty of floor work and the dancers also had an excellent sense of musicality.  There was a woman who danced while a man sang and played guitar on stage with her.  Another woman, who had only been dancing a month and a half, showed off tricks that made me green with envy.  There was a massage therapist who moved as though her body was made of liquid. And another student finished her performance by pulling another student out of the crowd, and including her in her last pole trick.  And finally you had two beautiful performances from the magical Mina Mortezaie and Annemarie herself.  My jaw was on the floor. I’ve decided that AnneMarie is going to be my newest pole teacher.

So next time Annemarie puts on a performance night, if you are in LA  and you have twenty dollars, head over to Evolve and see what the buzz is about.  You will NOT be disappointed.

The Lovely Mina Mortezaie 

PoleSkivvies Interviews me about my new book!

Click HERE to read the interview.

Why We Dance...

Patriarchal societies have forced women into stereotypes roles: the understanding, virtuous, and self-sacrificing woman, or the seductive, passionate and frightening woman.  Both feminine images are controlled through the body's appearance, attitudes, gestures and movements.  These categories tear up a woman and rob her of her strength.  She has to be very careful not to be misunderstood.  To be respected and taken seriously, she tries to hide her femininity and constrict her body into an emotional corset.  Split into saints and witches, women were at once put above and beneath the reality of life; either way, they were robbed of all real participation in the development and shaping of society.  They were supposed to derive happiness and satisfaction from a peripheral existence, supposedly in harmony with their "natural" role, namely self-sacrifice and submission. Dancing is an opportunity for a woman to look at these facets in a light and playful way, before deciding where she wants to stand.

Dance has completed its transformation from the realm of the sacred to the aesthetic and artistic and back to a joyful, sensual, and playful instrument for self-discovery.  The contents of dancing changed with each phase, always combining with people's immediate physical and spiritual needs. Indeed the language of dance flows over the socially coded body, and it uses a different logic that can be understood through sensual awareness.  Leaving oneself through dancing to enter a world beyond one's control and beyond the personal level - almost flowing between inner and outer world - contributes to a new and different understanding of the tensions between the different poles of existence.  By allowing the mind and the senses, the inside and outside worlds, to unite, without ever allowing either to become dominant, dancing makes it possible for people to set out on unorthodox searches for themselves, and to experience sexual and social issues in their own bodies.  Dance is an art and as such it enables whoever practices it to constantly improve their skills and self-knowledge.  And to know oneself is a human being's most essential duty.

--Rosina-Fawzi Al-Rawi