What Does it Mean to Teach?

Teach: To impart knowledge or skill

Instruct: To furnish with knowledge

It’s been a while since I’ve written something.  And quite a bit has happened.  Aside from being named Editor-in-Chief of Vertical Art and Fitness magazine (shameless plug to get your subscription HERE), I have also started teaching pole.  This has opened up a whole other side of pole dancing for me.  It is one thing to be a student, and to dedicate yourself to dance.  It is an entirely different thing to teach it.  Becoming a teacher, in my opinion, is an extension of your learning curve – in any subject.  You never stop being a student, even when you teach.  At the same time, when you take on the responsibility of guiding others in a practice, you must lead by example.  This doesn’t mean you need to be flawless, but it does mean that you need to walk the walk.   For example, I can tell my students how to get into their bodies and how to access their emotions in their dance, and I can tell them how to be more sensual, but if I can’t embody those qualities in my movement, then I can’t really guide them to do the same. 

There is a tremendous amount of energy that goes into teaching.  You are pouring your essence, your enthusiasm, your wisdom and your knowledge into others.  You are offering your students support, guidance, encouragement and inspiration.  And you are keeping the energy levels up and positive in the room, while making sure everyone is safe and everyone is learning something.  You really can’t show up to class with anything else on your plate, or your students will feel it. 

I love it.

For me, teaching is about being of service.  It’s about nurturing and cultivating my students and helping them to grow in places they did not think possible.  But it’s also about respect.  In order to teach your students, you have to respect them.  You don’t have to like them, and you don’t have to be friends with them, but you do have to show them respect.  I remember when I first started learning to pole dance I viewed my teachers not just as instructors, but as mentors.  I believed in them and in what they were teaching me, and I had the utmost respect for their insight and wisdom.  Partly this was because they inspired me and partly it was because they acknowledged that whatever journey I was on was my own, and they knew when to get out of the way.  Today, I try to inspire that same feeling in my students - not through flattery and empty cheering, or authority and credentials, but through sincere acknowledgement, careful observation, and kindness. 

As a student, one of the biggest mistakes I saw teachers make was letting their egos get in the way.  If you want to teach, you cannot have an ego about it.  Your students will eventually see through it, and they will tire of it.  It is obvious when your students’ successes mean nothing more to you than a reflection of your own genius, or even worse, dollars in your wallet.  Naturally, everyone is susceptible to this kind of a thing – we are human after all – and we like appreciation.  But teachers who impart knowledge and skill as a one-way flow of information are doing their students and the material a huge disservice. Learning is a co-creative process.  People learn differently and in order to teach properly, you have to be able to understand your students’ learning styles and adjust accordingly.  This is true for pole dance too.  Your students may have blocks or fears in completely different areas.  Being able to identify those areas and help your students move past them requires you to be as aware of what your student is doing as they are of what you are teaching.  In psychology we learn that what you see in someone else is always filtered through your own lens, which is shaped by your own experiences.  It is impossible to make an observation about another human without taking into account your own issues.  This is especially important to remember when you are a teacher because you are being asked to guide another person on their journey.  How you guide them will depend heavily on your own level of self-awareness and humility.

My Marine Wives Class at Camp Pendleton

Of course, all of this is easier said than done.  But the joy must come not just from your success at imparting a skill, but at your student’s happiness at mastering it.

In celebration of my new teaching position at Polistic Dance Studio in Los Angeles, Polistic is offering fans of The Pole Story and Bad Kitty Exoticwear a special discount:  Bring your friend for free to an Intro to Pole class.  Share the link to this blog on Facebook then message me for the Promo Code!

 www.polistic.com

The Tempest

I have this thing I do when I dance.  I pull people in and I push them away.  I tell them to come get me with my body, invite them towards me and then I make it clear that I'm about to devour them.  When I get close to the lap dance chair, I stalk whoever is sitting in it. I torture.  I tease.  And I love it.

A few months ago I was giving my ex a dance at home.  I approached the chair from behind, where he couldn't see me, and I leaned down and pushed my head against his, hard.  He complained. "EASY!" he said.  But I don't know how to be easy.  Easy is not really in my lexicon.  Especially not when I dance.  "What a pussy" I thought to myself.  And I moved back towards the pole.

What's interesting is how frequently that push-pull plays out in my life, especially in my relationships.  I will draw you in and then I will test you to see how much you can take.  And I will get a very profound sense of satisfaction mixed with intense disappointment out of watching you fail.  I want and desperately need someone who can stand in my storms and just take it.  That is, perhaps, completely unreasonable.  But it's the truth.

When I dance this scenario plays out again and again and again with whoever is sitting in the lap dance chair.  I just recently started giving lap dances again.  For a couple of years, I would approach whoever was in the chair, but never get in it, never offer any contact aside from a hand brushing against a calf, or my head nudging their knees apart.  Sometimes I would offer my leash, a piece of fabric looped through the leather and metal O-ring collar I wear around my neck.  But I never gave myself over to anyone.

Then, for some reason, about two months ago, I climbed into the chair.  I got really close to the woman sitting in it, and I had a wordless conversation with her.  I told her all about my disappointment and heartache.  I told her all about how much I wanted to be desired and how open I was to being devoured and cherished.  I told her how difficult and sweet I was.  And I told her how much she would be rewarded for sitting through just one of my storms without walking away.  And then I crawled away, glancing longingly over my shoulder, begging her to come after me.  But of course, she didn't.

Vulnerability is exquisitely hard for me.  I am constantly opening and inviting you in and then threatening to hunt and eat you.  It's incredibly hot when this dynamic comes out in my dance. But while it sends men over the edge in dance-land, it drives them away in real life.  Which is tragic.  Because if they stayed put through just one of my feminine storms, they would find that underneath the tempest is a very scared, very sweet woman who wants nothing more than to melt into a strong man's arms.  And that is, perhaps,  completely unreasonable.  But it's the truth.

The Pole Body - Part 1

For the next two weeks The Pole Story will be featuring a two-part article called “The Pole Body”.  The first part will focus on Nutrition and Fitness (with guest blogger and Integrative Nutritionist Rebekah Fuller) and the second will focus on Strengthening and Fitness (with the help of expert Pilates Instructor Michelle Blum).  The goal is to help dancers learn new ways to get into optimal shape, whether it be for competitions or simply for personal satisfaction.  And of course, with the holidays right around the corner, it doesn’t hurt to have a little fitness advice!

I have had the pleasure of working closely with both of these women and they are not only knowledgeable, but deeply passionate about their work.  They both have a pole dancing background, and Rebekah, in addition to being a nutritionist, is also a pole dance instructor. (She also came up with the title for this series!)  Rebekah and Michelle are also very interested in the mind-body connection and this is reflected in their work.  So if you are looking for someone to help take your pole dance training to the next level,  or even if you are just interested in getting physically and psychologically healthier,  consider checking out Fuller Health and Michellates.  They are both offering specials to anyone who references these articles.  So without further ado, let's see what Rebekah has to say!

As a Pole Dancing Instructor and Holistic Health Counselor in Nutrition, I am an advocate for eating for energy and maintaining lean, strong and healthy curves from the inside out. I became a dance instructor at S Factor prior to my studies and practice in nutrition. While I just assumed my up & down waves of energy and lack of focus at times were normal, it was not until I really learned about nutrition that I realized food changes everything.

I will say that prior to my education in nutrition I already did eat fairly healthy and was not oblivious to food and labels. I understood the concept of macronutrients: protein, carbs and fats. I felt I had a pretty decent grasp on eating well and steered clear of fried foods, sodas and candy. But my awareness and knowledge of what I was putting into my body only went so far.

I didn’t realize how much sugar I was consuming with all its disguised names. How it was and IS secretly in foods I would have never imagined it to be: Fat free milk and yogurt, tomato sauce, ketchup, on the go energy bars and even healthy cereals, just to name of few. I got sick a few times a year. I suffered from congestion, irregular digestion, waves of energy then fatigue, acne and simply did not feel that I was at my optimal health.

Then, I discovered that food is medicine and there are so many different ways to heal the human body through food and healthy lifestyle. I wanted to share with you some of the ways I keep my “Pole Body” lean, clean and strong.

Check out my Top Ten Ways to Increase Energy:

1. Reduce or eliminate caffeine.

·      The ups and downs of caffeine include dehydration and blood sugar ups and downs, making mood swings more frequent.

2. Drink water.

·      Most Americans are chronically dehydrated. Before you go to sugar or caffeine, have a glass of water and wait a few minutes to see what happens.

·      Caution: Soft drinks are now America’s number one source of added sugar.

3. Eat dark leafy green vegetables.

·      Green is associated with spring, the time of renewal and refreshing, vital energy.  Greens are full of vitamins and nutrients and great for improving circulation, lifting the spirit,              purifying the blood and strengthening the immune system.

·      Broccoli, collards, bok choy, kale, mustard greens, broccoli rabe, arugula and dandelion greens are some of the many to choose from.

4. Use gentle sweets.

·      Avoid sugar and chemicalized artificial sweeteners.

·      Use gentle sweeteners like maple syrup, brown rice syrup, and stevia.

·      Also eat sweet vegetables such as yams, carrots and beets.

 

5. Get physical activity.

·      Start with simple activities, like walking or yoga—start with 10 minutes a day and increase.

6. Get more sleep and rest and relaxation.

·      When you are tired or stressed, your body will crave energy.

·      These cravings are often a result of being sleep-deprived, going to bed late, waking up early, for months and years on end.

 7.Evaluate the amount of animal food you eat.

·      Eating too much meat, dairy, chicken and eggs can lead to low energy. So can eating too little! Experiment. Respect your body’s individuality.

8. Take time for yourself.

·      Find activities that restore your energy, such as a walk, a bath, a museum, a movie or whatever you enjoy, and schedule a weekly date with yourself to do these things!

9. Get in touch with your spirituality.

·      We are spiritual beings in a physical world.

·      Find ways to get in touch with your spiritual side, be it meditating, dancing, drawing, church, temple or being in nature.

10. Get rid of relationships that drain you.

·      People can drain you of your energy. It doesn’t mean that they are bad, but it is good to notice who drains you and why.

·      See if you can transform those relationships by communicating and setting boundaries, or end the relationship.

By improving eating habits, understanding your body better, and feeling confident in preparing better food for you and your loved ones you will experience an increase in overall energy and happiness in your life. If you would like to learn more about what foods are right for you, please check out the sweet offer below.

As a big thank you to Claire for featuring this healthy article in her fabulous blog, I am offering a COMPLIMENTARY CONSULTATION to anyone that mentions this article in their inquiry. To take advantage of this offer please visit my website at www.fullerhealth.net and click on the Health History link. Be one of the first 10 people to act and receive $100 off the first month of working one-on-one with me as your Holistic Health Counselor. Salud!

Rebekah Fuller

rebekah@fullerhealth.net

Health Counselor in Nutrition

www.fullerhealth.net

Dancer In The Dark

I danced blindfolded today.   A silk tie was wrapped around my head two, three times, and tied in a knot.  I was led by my hand to the dance floor and instructed to lie down on the hardwood.  I remember feeling acutely aware of my limbs, and the sensation of my feet on the floor, which felt so strange after dancing the last song in 6-inch stilettos.  And I also remember being aware that I had no idea where anything was around me – not my classmates sitting on the bench, not the poles, not the overstuffed chair where we did our lap dances.  I had been turned in a circle several times before being asked to lie down and a vague dizziness was still fluttering around my temples. One of my teachers gave a last minute instruction to my classmates, who were watching me from the bench: “Remember ladies, no cheering for the blindfolded dance - just silence.”  Oh.

Alice in Chains came blaring through the speakers.  “Heeeeeyyyyaaa IIIII ain’t never coming home…” My body started moving, pushing against the music.  “Breeeeeeaaaathe, Claire!”  A teacher’s voice floated across the room.  I tried to take a breath in and realized that I hadn’t exhaled in a while.  I pushed hard, arching, twisting, extending, asking, begging to be heard, to be felt, to be seen.  I felt exposed, deeply vulnerable, and my heart was splitting inside my chest.  My blindfold fell off early into the song, but I kept my eyes firmly shut, determined to keep that achiness in my heart alive, determined to move from that place, determined to make the world feel my pain, the pain that poured out of every finger tip, the grief that came every time I arched my back open, splaying my legs, pushing my ass back.  I was dancing out my loneliness, my feeling of immense isolation, my rage at the stupid bitch of an ex-girlfriend, who, five years later, still couldn’t figure out what a boundary was, the plasticized Barbie who cut me off in her Mercedes this morning, the boyfriend who could never in a million years be everything that I wanted, because nobody could.  I was dancing out my anger at my own destructive impulses and my conflicting need to keep them close, to burn it all down.  I was dancing out my insecurity, tangling it up with my strength.  I pulled from the earth into my body.  I wanted to shake the ground with my anger so you could feel my power and be terrified.  At the same time I wanted to throw my head back, arch my chest, open my soft belly and legs and invite you in.  I wanted you to reach out to me, to see me – all of me - all the contradictions, all the confusion, all the beauty, all the awkwardness, all the pain and joy, all the rage and vulnerability.  I wanted you to feel it with me, to see that it was real and true.  At one point in my dance I remember wanting to connect with something, anything- a pole, a chair, someone’s foot. I wanted to feel another person close by; I wanted to know where I was.  I crawled, slowly, feeling each muscle fiber, every sensation in my body, for what seemed like eternity and found nothing but empty space.  Accepting the solitude, I slid my belly back onto the floor, dancing out the rest of my song.

The vulnerability in dancing blindfolded is not just the sense of disorientation, but the absolute silence and solitude that accompanies your dance.  There is no one to push against, to flirt with, to torture, to impress, to be embarrassed by.  There is just you, and your body, and the music and the movement.  By the end of the dance, I was emotionally raw.  I could feel the tears pushing up through my throat.  My teacher sat down with me, as she always does after we dance.  “How was that?” Very emotional, I responded.  “Did you see the story?  The heartache?", she asked the class. I can’t remember exactly how it went, but the next thing I knew, I was climbing back up into my head, talking, talking, and talking.  My teacher stopped me.  “I don’t want to you to talk.  I want you to stay in that emotional space.”  I suddenly became aware of just how resistant I was to that vulnerable space at that particular moment.   How truly letting my body take over (for today anyway) had meant letting all of that vulnerability come out.  In the past, my dancing has let the torturing, vengeful, dirty, angry side of me out.   That is a part of me, of my sexuality, so I don’t think it will ever disappear from my dancing.  But today there was another part of my body and my psyche speaking to me.  The part that wanted to be touched and held and loved.  The part that felt immense sorrow and loss. The part that was terrified of being alone but even more terrified of being let down.

I was the last to dance, and so class was over.  As I got quiet and moved back into that vulnerable place, the tears spilled out.  I got hugs from my classmates.   Dancing is hard sometimes, said one of them.  Indeed.