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Check out my latest blog on how pole dancing can be empowering for women at:
http://www.badkittyexoticwear.com/blog/2010/04/yes-pole-dancing-is-empowering/
I danced blindfolded today. A silk tie was wrapped around my head two, three times, and tied in a knot. I was led by my hand to the dance floor and instructed to lie down on the hardwood. I remember feeling acutely aware of my limbs, and the sensation of my feet on the floor, which felt so strange after dancing the last song in 6-inch stilettos. And I also remember being aware that I had no idea where anything was around me – not my classmates sitting on the bench, not the poles, not the overstuffed chair where we did our lap dances. I had been turned in a circle several times before being asked to lie down and a vague dizziness was still fluttering around my temples. One of my teachers gave a last minute instruction to my classmates, who were watching me from the bench: “Remember ladies, no cheering for the blindfolded dance - just silence.” Oh.
Alice in Chains came blaring through the speakers. “Heeeeeyyyyaaa IIIII ain’t never coming home…” My body started moving, pushing against the music. “Breeeeeeaaaathe, Claire!” A teacher’s voice floated across the room. I tried to take a breath in and realized that I hadn’t exhaled in a while. I pushed hard, arching, twisting, extending, asking, begging to be heard, to be felt, to be seen. I felt exposed, deeply vulnerable, and my heart was splitting inside my chest. My blindfold fell off early into the song, but I kept my eyes firmly shut, determined to keep that achiness in my heart alive, determined to move from that place, determined to make the world feel my pain, the pain that poured out of every finger tip, the grief that came every time I arched my back open, splaying my legs, pushing my ass back. I was dancing out my loneliness, my feeling of immense isolation, my rage at the stupid bitch of an ex-girlfriend, who, five years later, still couldn’t figure out what a boundary was, the plasticized Barbie who cut me off in her Mercedes this morning, the boyfriend who could never in a million years be everything that I wanted, because nobody could. I was dancing out my anger at my own destructive impulses and my conflicting need to keep them close, to burn it all down. I was dancing out my insecurity, tangling it up with my strength. I pulled from the earth into my body. I wanted to shake the ground with my anger so you could feel my power and be terrified. At the same time I wanted to throw my head back, arch my chest, open my soft belly and legs and invite you in. I wanted you to reach out to me, to see me – all of me - all the contradictions, all the confusion, all the beauty, all the awkwardness, all the pain and joy, all the rage and vulnerability. I wanted you to feel it with me, to see that it was real and true. At one point in my dance I remember wanting to connect with something, anything- a pole, a chair, someone’s foot. I wanted to feel another person close by; I wanted to know where I was. I crawled, slowly, feeling each muscle fiber, every sensation in my body, for what seemed like eternity and found nothing but empty space. Accepting the solitude, I slid my belly back onto the floor, dancing out the rest of my song.
The vulnerability in dancing blindfolded is not just the sense of disorientation, but the absolute silence and solitude that accompanies your dance. There is no one to push against, to flirt with, to torture, to impress, to be embarrassed by. There is just you, and your body, and the music and the movement. By the end of the dance, I was emotionally raw. I could feel the tears pushing up through my throat. My teacher sat down with me, as she always does after we dance. “How was that?” Very emotional, I responded. “Did you see the story? The heartache?", she asked the class. I can’t remember exactly how it went, but the next thing I knew, I was climbing back up into my head, talking, talking, and talking. My teacher stopped me. “I don’t want to you to talk. I want you to stay in that emotional space.” I suddenly became aware of just how resistant I was to that vulnerable space at that particular moment. How truly letting my body take over (for today anyway) had meant letting all of that vulnerability come out. In the past, my dancing has let the torturing, vengeful, dirty, angry side of me out. That is a part of me, of my sexuality, so I don’t think it will ever disappear from my dancing. But today there was another part of my body and my psyche speaking to me. The part that wanted to be touched and held and loved. The part that felt immense sorrow and loss. The part that was terrified of being alone but even more terrified of being let down.
I was the last to dance, and so class was over. As I got quiet and moved back into that vulnerable place, the tears spilled out. I got hugs from my classmates. Dancing is hard sometimes, said one of them. Indeed.
“It’s not simply that so many of us are uncomfortable about sexuality. It’s the relationship that individuals and the culture have with that discomfort. The discomfort does not get discussed honestly, nor do most people feel in any way obligated to resolve these feelings. Instead, the discomfort is considered normal and fixed, and the objects of discomfort – sexual words, music, art, and expression-are the things considered expendable.” Marty Klein, PhD.
The debate about pole dancing in the Olympics is a fiery one, and I’m not done talking about it! For those of you who read my responses on www.expressthesensual.com and The Pole Story’s Facebook page, this might be a tad redundant, so I apologize. Onward.
I wrote my thesis for my MA in psychology on how erotic dance can help women to reconnect with their sexuality, and I focused on pole dancing, specifically. The argument I make is that pole dancing provides a therapeutic context in which women can heal from any wounding (individual or collective) surrounding their sexuality. This wounding can be something as simple as needing to learn how to let go of exercising our masculine side and allowing the feminine to come forward. For example, many women have gotten used to behaving in a very masculine way, i.e. directional, goal-oriented, and assertive in order to accomplish certain things in life. There is nothing inherently wrong with this and many women have achieved quite a bit by doing so. However, a possible pitfall to over-exercising the masculine is that a woman loses touch with or forgets how to live in the more receptive, more feminine side. Many women I know in high powered, stressful jobs find that their pole dance classes help them not just to relax, but to feel “like a woman again”. Other women who study different forms of sensual dance, such as belly dancing, have echoed this sentiment. In an article in the March 22, 2009 issue of Washington Post Magazine a woman named Rachael Galoob was interviewed about her local belly dance studio. Galoob is a former attorney with two law degrees who decided to leave her law career in order to perform and teach. Her students tend to be well-educated professionals in high-powered jobs. Many of them come to belly dance classes in order to reconnect with their feminine side. They claim this sensual movement reduces their stress levels by forcing them to focus on their body and their movement and that it helps them to feel more beautiful.
According to my research and studies, what makes pole dancing so healing isn’t the pole tricks as much as it is the experience of moving sensually and slowly and the feeling that creates in your body. So a concern I have about turning pole dancing into an Olympic sport is that it takes away the healing potential of this movement. That’s not to say that there wouldn’t be room for other types of pole dancing to exist. Indeed, none of the groups pushing for pole dancing to join the Olympics are saying that this should be the only form of pole available to the public. But I think what is being argued here, among other things, is how do we mainstream pole dancing? What is going to be the primary way in which the rest of the general public engages with this art form? And perhaps part of the reason why some dancers are against having pole dancing in the Olympics is because it would inevitably make that particular form of pole dancing or pole fitness, the most common or the most publicly viewed. And many dancers feel that a fitness based gymnastics form of pole dance is not representative, perhaps, of the art and the soul, and the history of pole dancing.
If we think about why we enjoy watching gymnastics or dance, we find that there is actually a great deal of overlap. We admire the strength, the precision, the grace and the flexibility expressed in the bodies we are watching. However, dance differs from gymnastics in a few very important ways. Dance is designed to evoke a narrative - specific emotions, conflicts and insights – and a dancer who succeeds in achieving these things has turned her body into something communicative. Because of this, she frequently creates an emotional reaction in her audience. This emotional narrative does not exist in gymnastics, nor are gymnastics designed to evoke an emotional response in its onlookers. Moreover, pole dancing is not about recreating a purity of form in the way that other forms of dance, such as ballet, are. While there are certain moves and tricks that can be “standardized” one of the beautiful things about pole dancing is that it is, more often than not, “an execution of clear and concise movements and gestures that are expressive of inner states unique to the particular performer, to the passing mood, even to the fleeting instant” (Juhan, 255-56). Part of what makes pole dancing so thrilling to watch is the inventiveness and spontaneity of the dancers, and how intensely personal their movements are. So the difference in style between someone who approaches pole dancing as a gymnastics-based movement versus someone who approaches it as a dance-based movement is actually quite substantial. No wonder it is such a charged subject!
I think, as women, know in our bodies and in our hearts and souls what this movement does for us. We know subjectively (subjective knowing being a more feminine way of knowing something – based on intuition and a felt body sense) that this movement has touched us, shaped us, woken us up, ignited fires and yes, changed our psyches. In my humble opinion, the way in which some of the community is seeking to “legitimize” pole dancing feels threatening not just because it approaches the movement in a way that feels unfamiliar (to me, personally), but because it is basically saying to those of us that already know what we feel in our bodies, “Well, that’s not good enough.” Not only are the more feminine, empowering parts of this dance at risk of being lost, but also we are, on some level, being told the very experience each of us has in our bodies is not a “legitimate” enough source of information. And I think that is deeply hurtful to the feminine – whose primary power and source of knowledge is the sensate, the body. It is a larger symptom of our culture’s dismissal and critique of the body as a source of knowledge. Trying to turn pole dancing into an Olympic sport if you are in it for the art form, for the sensual aspects, for the engagement with that deeply feminine part of yourself, is in some ways, taking a very feminine experience and forcing it into the more masculine, objective world of measurements, restrictions, linear direction and goals. When we de this, we lose the flavor, the power, and the feminine essence of the movement. This concerns me not because I think that pole dancing will become vertical gymnastics only, but because vertical gymnastics will become “the standard” of pole dancing. Instead of allowing a woman’s natural sensuality and sexiness to unfold on stage, we will ask her to present a sanitized version of what was once a deeply sexual movement. Instead of asking our country to look at it’s own deeply imbedded cultural biases and fears around female sexuality, we will give them something that makes them feel comfortable and allows those prejudices to go unexamined. Women who continue to infuse their dancing with sexual movement and sensuality will continue to be looked down upon as “whores”. Nothing will have changed.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: As pole dancers, we have a very real opportunity to shift the way the public views female sexuality. It’s not going to be easy, and there is no guarantee of success, but in my opinion, it’s deeply important for women everywhere.
To that end, this push for the Olympics has done something positive by thrusting pole dancing into the public spotlight. Erotic dance is an excellent mirror for our culture’s sex phobia, and this Olympic debate is forcing people’s prejudices, fears and beliefs into plain view. This is good because, ideally, it allows these beliefs to be examined, instead of festering in the unspoken unconscious somewhere. So, in some ways, this change has already begun. But much remains ahead of us. It is my personal hope that, no matter where it ends up, pole dancing is able to retain its erotic, sensual, striptease roots.
For more on this topic, please go to www.expressthesensual.com
MSNBC recently posted an article in their “Weird News” section about the possibility of Pole Dancing becoming an Olympic sport. There have subsequently been a number of other news sites, blogs, and websites that have reposted this article and it has generated quite a buzz. The article was interesting enough, but the comments were what really fascinated me. After having read hundreds of comments on dozens of different websites (and commenting a bit myself) I think the public’s reaction to pole dancing becoming an Olympic Sport falls under a few different categories. One popular response was to ridicule the idea, based either on a lack of knowledge for how much athleticism pole dancing actually requires, or based on the exclusion of other sports (i.e. cricket’s not a sport, why should pole dancing be a sport?). Another common response was to immediately confuse what happens in a pole dance competition with what happens in a club thereby resulting in snarky comments about judges shoving medals into dancer’s thongs. A few applauded the idea, citing the hard work it takes and making comparisons to gymnastics, etc. However, the overall response was negative and the negativity, in my opinion, stemmed from our culture’s overall discomfort with overt displays of female sexuality. One commenter actually said that it would be fine to have pole dancing as an Olympic sport as long as it was stripped (haha) of every sexual overtone. Um, ok.
Let me be frank and straightforward for a moment here. I know absolutely nothing about what it takes to qualify as an Olympic sport. In fact, I know very little about sports, period. I have never danced competitively and it does not interest me to do so. I dance because it connects me a deeply feminine, sexual part of my self. I dance because it feels good in my body. The fact that it gets me fit is just a bonus. So I’m not really sure how important it is to me personally that pole dancing gain Olympic standing. With that said, I support the women who feel that it is important, and, I think that this very public push has done something excellent for the pole dancing community, which is to put pole in the public spotlight. And pole dancing, because of it’s sensual and erotic roots, holds up a mirror to our culture’s sex phobia.
The overall response from the general public reflects a real discomfort with women dancing sensually and evoking the erotic. Whether this discomfort is reflected by third-grade comments about women taking their clothes off (nudity! yeah!) or flat out misogyny from both men AND women (those skanky whores need to find a real job!) the message is that we have a long way to go before people begin to accept that an erotic, sensual expression of the female body is worthy of respect. Pole dancing is, and hopefully always will be, a sensual form of movement, and I think that is why most people balk at it being in the Olympics. Because in our culture, rather than celebrating the sensuality of the female body, we censor it and we shame it and we denigrate it. If we could change how we view a woman who chooses to celebrate her sensuality through dance, if we could look at this movement as a celebration of the female body, of its innate sensuality, of its sexual power and beauty, then maybe pole dancing, and even stripping could be integrated into the mainstream and viewed as a practice that is worthy of respect.