How Exercise and Sex Can Help you Meet Your Fitness Goals

By: Jackie Anderson

Everyone is looking for new ways to stay in shape. Usually when starting a new diet and exercise plan the first couple of days are pretty rough, but we all persevere, right?  If you're having a little trouble, I have some motivation and additional workouts you can do. Don't worry you don't have to eat rice cakes while you do 100 squats--this one is a little more fun!  To really push your workouts into overdrive, and burn up to an additional300 calories you should add in a few 30 minute to hour long sessions a week. 

What  “sessions” am I talking about? Having sex of course!  That's right. That added pleasure in your life is actually doing your body some good inside and out.  But here's the fun part--hold on to your seats--working out and having sex go hand in hand and both get better with the aid of the other.

  

Getting your butt in shape allows you to have greater stamina, stronger muscles (for wall sex, of course).  This means you can get into different positions and get into them faster. And losing weight obviously makes us feel more confident about ourselves, so you'll want to walk around naked more often, which just might lead to having sex more often.  Taking care of our body physically also often makes us think more about the food we eat. You just might find that you put down the chips, the heavy starches and excessive red meats and cheeses, which is good because these are all foods that make you bloat and bloating doesn't really put you in the mood. You'll find that the healthier alternatives give you more energy and therefore a better chance at doing the dirty. 

And the healthier food may help you to lose some weight too.

As for having sex, well as I said, that helps you burn up to an additional 300 calories a session. That's 300 calories burned by doing something that you truly enjoy. Bonus! Sex also helps you sleep better, due to the oxytocin your brain releases during a sack session. Oxytocin helps your muscles to repair overnight and you will have stronger workouts the following day.  It also builds your immune system and lowers your stress. Stress wears on our body and causes it to store fat.  If you can get your stress under control, you're likely to see more progress with your workout routine and be happier in general.

Now maybe are you thinking..."Well, I don't have a significant other, so what am I to do?"  Don't worry!  While getting yourself off doesn't burn nearly as many calories as sex, it does have the same brain and body advantages. You don't need a partner when you have sex toys to help you out. An orgasm elicits oxytocin and endorphins--two things that make us sleep better, happier, and reduce stress. Plus, all of the working out you're doing just may land you a new boo in no time. Maybe you'll even meet them at the gym.  

So this weekend, as you're gearing up to do a five miler or even just a one miler, think about ending your day in an additional calorie burning bedroom sesh--whether it’s with someone else or yourself. You'll find that your body appreciates it as much as you do. 

 Brought to you by:

How Fly Gym Convinced Me That Pole Is Fitness (Too).

So those of you who know me well are familiar with  my super sexy stance when it comes to pole dancing.  So you might keel over when you hear what I have to say next....
Pole is fitness. (I know, whaaaaat?) It takes discipline, stamina, practice, energy and strength.  It makes you stronger.  And you have to train to be proficient in it.  

Beloved Felix

Now that we have that cleared up, let me introduce you to Jehan Izhar.  Jehan is a physical performance coach and aerialist who recently completed her Masters in Kinesiology.
According to her in addition to strength pole takes mobility, flexibility and power.  Jehan also teaches the Fly Gym Instructor program.  Fly Gym is a system that uses supportive fabrics that are hung from the ceiling (or wall) to provide a fitness "experience" that combines aerial fitness training, aerial yoga and pilates.  It is especially beneficial for students training in the aerial arts as it allows you to achieve 360 degree rotation while engaging your muscles the entire time.  As Jehan points out, static muscle building exercises that work on one or two planes only are not preparing muscles properly for pole work.  You train for the transitions not the tricks.

Jehan in her Ninja Move

I took the Fly Gym Instructor Training over the course of 2 Saturdays. What I liked about it was how much focus Jehan placed on assessing for needs. Because she is a physical performance coach, her eye is trained to look for where there is compensation in the body.  She understands posture and alignment extremely well (she is a yogi and a cirque performer after all) and her Masters in Kinesiology means she is an expert at human movement.  So when she teaches Fly Gym for Pole she emphasizes watching your student's body for areas of compensation.  Certain exercises with Fly Gym can help to illuminate those weak spots and then help to strengthen them. This is not something I have seen in pole training before.  Usually we just kind of try the tricks until we get them.  And of course this can be dangerous. 

Learn Twisted Grip without the strain on your sweet wrists!

Even more interesting is the fact that both Jehan and the other student in the class, who is a teacher in Australia, acknowledged that there were certain tricks they did not teach because they were simply too risky on certain size poles or because they were simply not good for your body.  Keep in mind that pole is different from other aerial arts because there is almost always a push-pull dynamic going on in tricks, which means unlike lyra or silks, where the center point is your body and therefore body alignment is easier, in pole the center point is the pole itself.  This means we are always a bit off-balance.  As we know, pole takes a toll. This training reminded me that being fit and healthy also meant being balanced.  If we are exercising one side of our body more than the other, or pushing and pulling as we do in pole, then it is best to balance that out in our workouts.

You don't need a pole to Fly Gym! Take it to the playgrounds for practice!

I am not a fitness expert by a long shot.  And so maybe to someone who has a background in personal training, this all seems like a no-brainer.  But I think I will say what I have to say anyway.  I really appreciate how much this training emphasizes building up strength AND flexibility FOR pole.  In other words, it really focuses on how to make you a stronger and smarter pole athlete.  If pole is about fitness then a pole curriculum should reflect a healthy and balanced approach towards building a student's strength. And curriculum developers should be consulting people like Jehan to best determine how to teach pole in a way that reflects the true meaning of the word "fit".

In addition to training pole athletes, Fly Gym can be used on its own to work with populations who need strength training and some extra support while they do it.  The creator, Aruna Andes, is currently working on bringing Fly Gym to disabled veterans at the VA.
 

Aruna Andes, creator of Fly Gym

As for me, I will be taking my Fly Gym to the monkey bars in the hopes that I can someday achieve my twisted grip without aggravating the tendonitis in both my wrists.  And, I will be bringing my 70-year-old father with me, so he can practice balancing on a standing leg. Happy Flying!


For more information on Fly Gym go to www.flygym.com
To find out how to get in touch with Jehan go to www.jehanizhar.com

Why We Can't Move Past the Sexy Stigma

In September, three brave women went on Anderson Cooper to defend their kids’ right to pole dance.  I watched the show several times and several things popped into my head straightaway.  First, I was disappointed.

What disappointed me about the show was that Anderson Cooper and Goldie Hawn cast pole dancing into such a black and white light.  Is it sexy or is it not sexy? Well, the truth is, it’s both.  And like everything in this world, what pole is depends on the context in which it is being explored.  And yet, this narrow attempt to define pole dancing in an oversimplified way highlighted not just how little the general public knows about pole but also how the pole dance community lacks a strong defining image.  When Anderson Cooper points out that the adult classes focus on “increasing the libido” and have overtly sexual names like “sexy-flexy” and “babes on bikes”, he is making a very valid point: How can you say what you are doing is not sexual when all of your adult classes focus on sexuality? We cannot, as a community, vigorously argue that we want to move past the stereotype of pole as a sexy activity and then market our classes as sexy.  It makes no sense.  We, as a pole community have to be clear on our message and our definitions of pole, and paradoxically, we have to be able to defend the sexy in order to defend the fitness.

Another problem I saw with Anderson’s line of thinking and therefore his questioning was the assumption that pole dancing will somehow lead girls down a shameful, sex-driven, promiscuous path of harlotry and immoral behavior.  He asked two versions of the same question.  The first was, “Why pole dancing?  Why not something with less of a sexual connotation?”  The second was, “Once they reach maturity, THEN what happens?” 

I love these kinds of questions because they reveal our culture’s innate reaction to female sexuality:  Keep it secret and keep it safe.

As if a woman who learns the art of sexuality and pleasure through dance is also learning to disrespect her body and her sexuality.  I would argue that in fact, the opposite is true.

One of the biggest concerns with young women and sex today is that they often view sex and sexuality as something you give as a performance for attention, rather than something you engage in because you want to.  There is a psychologist named Deborah Tolman who has written extensively on this topic.  She talks to girls about their experience of “wanting” versus their experience of “sex”, which is more often than not about being wanted.  Tolman uses the phrase “silent bodies” to describe the sexual experiences of these young girls.  Whether or not these young women had sex, they had a difficult time expressing if or how they felt desire or arousal in their bodies.  They instead chose to muffle their feelings, out of fear for where it might take them, out of shame and out of anxiety.  Nevertheless, they were still engaging in sexual activities and, more often than not, these activities were described as having “just happened” to them.  This is dangerous.  When a girl does not know what her own feelings and desires are she is much more vulnerable to the power of others feelings and desires. 

If what Tolman is saying is true, then teaching young women how to develop a subjective sense of their sexual selves would actually be a solution to them giving away their sexuality, when in fact we must teach them to own it.  In other words, our culture needs to teach women how to get in touch with what desire and arousal feel like, how to experience it in their bodies, and how to express what they want and don’t want.  Pole dancing is actually an excellent vehicle for such an education.  And this is because sexuality and desire are primarily experienced in the body. 

So to turn Anderson Cooper’s line of thinking on its head, I would argue that it is important for every young woman to learn how to explore her sexuality through pole dance in a safe, all-female environment.  I won’t teach my daughter to pole dance because I want her to go to the Olympics or win a competition somewhere- I will teach her to pole dance because it will teach her about her body and her sexuality in a healthy and sane manner.

Clearly Anderson’s question about where someone would “go” after learning to pole dance is based not just on his lack of understanding about the value of the sensuality of the movement, but is also designed to point out that pole dancing has no organizational strength.  And here, he also has a point.  We are so new that we do not yet have all of the things that other sports have to show their validity: scholarships, corporate sponsors, official coaches, etc.   But that will come, if we want it to.

I think the question is, do we want it to?  Goldie Hawn’s parting advice to the brave trio was to take the sexuality out of the movement and out of the marketing campaign immediately.  But should we really do that?  It brings us back to the age-old debate: Do we jettison sexuality in favor of mainstream acceptance of pole dancing? 

Personally, I don’t think that will ever happen.  But what this interview highlighted was just how confused people are about what pole dancing is. 

My personal belief is that until we can defend the value of the inherent sensuality of the movement, we will face ridicule and misunderstanding from the general public.  The truth of the matter is the majority of pole dance studios (in the US anyway) are focused on the sensual aspect of pole.  It is impossible to argue that pole is a sport and a form of fitness only while marketing classes as a form of sensual empowerment and putting on shows that highlight the sensual nature of pole dancing.   We need to address the issue of sensuality, the inherent value of the sexiness of the movement before we can defend it as nothing more than a form of fitness.

I wish Anderson Cooper and Goldie Hawn had been far more curious in their line of questioning.  I wish they stuck to their promise of having a “chat” about the topic with these ladies, rather than assault-style questioning.  Because perhaps then, all the beautiful aspects of pole could have been shared and understood by people around the country.  Next time ladies…next time.

How To Look at a Woman

I almost posted this picture without any words.  But you know how I like to have to have an opinion on things. 

This picture argues that based on her hemline alone a woman can be judged on her moral character and her sexual nature.  Of course, this kind of thinking is not new.  And while the idea that a rape victim is “asking for it” based on her clothing choice is considered unacceptable by many in the U.S. today, if a woman dresses provocatively and then complains about the attention she receives, most people are less than sympathetic.  Because she was asking for it, right?

It’s complicated.

On the one hand, many women acknowledge that dressing provocatively will almost always result in male attention (if the men are straight).   But men are going to notice a woman no matter what she wears. Whether it's an ankle or wrist underneath a burka or super cleavage, the female body draws attention. The question is, what is that quality of attention? Is it respectful and admiring of a woman's beauty? Does it change depending on how much of her body she is willing to expose? Do we make assumptions about where she loses her rights to be treated with respect based on her level of dress or undress? Because that is not right. Every woman is deserving of protection and respect for her beauty no matter how she is dressed.  And men will always look. 

Personally, I don't think it is problematic that men look at women. It think it is the kind of attention they give a woman and all the assumptions they carry with them about her based on her appearance, occupation, or whatever that is troubling. Women do it to women too.   How many times have you been called a slut by another woman because you pole dance?  Here is the thing: Overt displays of sexuality by a woman do not give you more of a right to judge, touch, shame or violate that woman’s boundaries in any way.  But they also don’t mean that you have to act like they are not happening.  There is a way of turning your gaze towards a sexually provocative woman that is neither demeaning nor dismissive.  There is a way of appreciating a woman’s beauty that acknowledges your own feelings without disrespecting her.

There are women who dress and behave in provocative manner because they are sexually disempowered.  There are women who dress conservatively because they are sexually disempowered.  There are also women who dress provocatively and conservatively because they are sexually empowered and clear in their values, desires and boundaries.  It would be nice if we could acknowledge and honor these choices.  It would also be nice if women felt truly free to make these choices from an authentic place. I cringe at superficial displays of sexual empowerment as much as I cringe at attacks on pole dancing that make it out to be the latest development in raunch culture.  But even if a woman is choosing to put it all out there because she is deeply insecure, needs attention and feels worthless isn’t carefully choosing to ignore her behavior versus shaming her for it the kind and right thing to do?

Another issue that comes into play with the male gaze is that women, because of a their fear of being threatened physically or judged or otherwise bothered, are not receptive at all to male attention and respond to it by becoming angry. At times this is justified. If someone is belittling you, of course you are going to be pissed.  At the same time, I think women are so conditioned to respond negatively to any male attention that they reflexively shut a man down, even when he is simply admiring her beauty.  The opposite side of that coin is that they feel they have to say yes or accept any advances because they don’t know how to set boundaries.

I used to get really angry when men would whistle at me or try to pick me up or say "Dddaaaaaammmnnn" when I walked by them. If I was wearing something revealing I would inevitably feel shame too.  I was sure that I had “asked for it” and that this meant I was a very bad girl.  (Turns out I am, and that’s a good thing, but that’s another blog.)

Today, I smile back at whoever is paying me the compliment (because, yes, I think it's a compliment when a man notices my beauty in a playful way) and say thank you.  I have had men hang out of car windows and yell at me about my beautiful ass, I have had them wave politely from trucks, I have had them smile at me across cafes, I have had them stare unabashedly at me in bars and I have had them stop me in the streets to tell me I’m beautiful and ask me if I have boyfriend.   I always respond with kindness.  If they try to pick me up I politely tell them I am not available.  Most men back off. Most men are grateful that I did not verbally emasculate them for paying me a compliment and taking the initiative to try and introduce themselves. 

I don't find most male attention demeaning or threatening. Even more importantly, because I engage men, I know when it IS truly threatening (versus judgmental, or just playful, or a little rude) and that makes me feel safer in the world.  Maybe I sound completely naïve. But let me tell you, my approach towards men today works far, far better then the shut down, fear-based responses I used to take with them.

And yet, while I think women need to be more open to positive male attention, and recognize that most men do not want to hurt them, it’s my belief that the ultimate responsibility for safety lays not in a woman and her choice in dress and behavior, but in the man who is giving the attention. The idea that it is EVER a woman's fault for any kind of boundary violation - including unwanted, unkind attention - is the same mentality that puts rape squarely on the victim's shoulders. "She was asking for it." Bullshit.  As men, it is your job to learn to control your instincts, learn to respect women in all their states of dress and undress and take responsibility for your reactions to your own arousal, disgust, pleasure or whatever else comes up when you see the female form. And until that happens, not a whole lot is going to change in the world.

Respect For Pole Class Please

While traditions vary among different dojos, the approach to martial arts training is generally one of respect for the space, the teacher and the practice.  This is also true of yoga studios, which frequently offer classes in exchange for seva (or service).


But, in my experience, this is not as true of pole dance studios. And personally, I think that is a shame.  Not only do I think it is a shame, I think it does a disservice to students, the teachers and to the pole industry.  Maybe I’m old-fashioned.  Maybe I take my pole dancing a little too seriously.   But I think pole dancing is not just about you – it’s about the community a studio creates.

Read more from my latest blog at Bad Kitty Exoticwear!

And don't forget to vote for my blog in the 10K Scholarship competition HERE! 
Vote for Claire!

The Pole Story Blog is up for a 10,000 Scholarship!

I'm super excited to announce that The Pole Story blog was nominated for a 10,000.00 Scholarship by CollegeScholarships.org.  But I need your help to win!!  The winner is determined by popular vote.

YOU CAN VOTE HERE FOR ME ONCE A DAY, EVERY DAY until NOVEMBER 28TH.
(Claire Griffin Sterrett)

I'm partly excited because, let's face it, Graduate School is insanely expensive.  For those of you that don't know, I'm currently pursuing a Masters in Social Work with a focus on Community Planning and Organization and a subspecialty in Military Culture at the University of Southern California.  My goal is to help veterans from the Iraq and Afghanistan wars through somatic based therapies and through advocacy work.

Of course, The Pole Story is about women, pole dance, and politics. Which is why my secret plan is to teach pole movement to women transitioning out of the military as a way to support them through the change.

But the MAIN reason I'm excited about being a finalist in this scholarship is because it means that there is a blog on POLE DANCING that has won some mainstream academic recognition! And that is awesome for EVERYONE in our COMMUNITY! 

So please please let's show the world how strong we are as a community! 

A Vote for my blog is a Vote for the Pole World! 

photo by George Grigorian

Stop Violence Against Women

"If, as pole dancers, we truly believe in female empowerment, then we should believe that empowerment is the birthright of every woman, and seek to protect it. And if we believe that part of our responsibility – indeed our mission – is to help redefine the way our culture views women and sensuality, and to advocate on behalf of any woman’s right to dance sensually without danger of persecution, then it is also our responsibility to speak out publicly when we see these rights being violated.  And it is our responsibility to take action and put pressure on our political leaders to make changes, and pass bills that will protect our bodies, and the bodies of our sisters, our friends, our wives and our daughters."  Read more of my latest blog at Bad Kitty!